THERE'S NO GOING BACK!

Did you start the year as you mean to live through it? Are you well on your way to achieve your goal [s] over the coming months? No matter what stage you're at, know that as long as you continue to make a dedicated and conscious effort, you're doing great!

Starting something new isn't likely to be easy and that, my friends, is exactly why doing so is greatly rewarding. Staying on track is about 2 things: [a] how much you truly want to succeed and [b] the energy you carry around with you.

Between September 2016 and October 2017 I was talking quite a good 'game', but, in my opinion, I wasn't making progress in the way I had wanted to and I was also feeling quite low a lot of the time. By November 2017 I literally snapped out of what was blatantly self pity and took responsibility for everything I labelled as 'being the reasons' for my unpleasant mood. I decided to fix up, real talk!

"There's no going back", I told myself, "to change anything that has happened, so, you better start where you are, right now, and plan a different ending to the one you're likely to meet if you stay in your misery". 

I turned things around for myself, by choice, with support and a deep determination to refocus and get back on track. I invested in what I wanted after taking the time to understand why I wanted the things I had chosen to pursue and I built upon those investments daily. Doing so meant that I secured a new opportunity before Christmas [something I had added to my vision board for 2018], I sorted my home improvements [I'm no DIY Queen, but, I did a good job if I do say so myself, lol] and, most importantly, I remained open to exploring my emotions and allowing space for vulnerability realising this would aid my personal growth in a very positive way.

Folks, we already know that life can be difficult [without warning]. Those curve balls are forever on standby. Get a grip on who you are, what you stand for and why you do what you do. Know and understand the motivation behind your every move and be honest when you talk to yourself about those moves. 

None of us can go back and start again, but, we have now; this very moment, with which we can do anything. It's never too late to get back on track. Don't give up on yourself. You deserve to be here, you deserve amazing things, you deserve to prove to yourself that you're a winner. You deserve to achieve your definition of success.

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

THE BEST WAY TO END JANUARY

I think January is a great month for having some time to yourself [if you can] - to chill, reflect, be with nature, or catch up on the sleep you gave up to attend the Christmas parties and shenanigans you [may have] indulged in!

If you saved some coins having taken part in Dry January and haven't over exerted yourself by partying too hard; having late, or endless nights, you should have more than enough energy and a little bit of extra cash to see the family and friends you didn't see during Christmas. Take the opportunity to celebrate something you, or they, have achieved in recent months/weeks. It doesn't matter how small you may consider your achievements to be - celebrate and give thanks!

I usually organise quality self-care and set aside time to spend with loved ones towards the end of the month. A hearty grub and fun times all around as we make further plans for getting together throughout the year ahead. It doesn't get more positive and uplifting than that!

For those of you who may not have loved ones [or if you'd rather not spend time with them], try pushing yourself to find the strength to go out and socialise; network, thus meeting new people and cultivating fresh relationships. I know it isn't easy but, It is possible!

If you do have your loved ones within reach, however you don't believe you've any reasons to be joyful, pause for a moment to consider just how much worse life could actually be for you [many consistently struggle all year with no support or relief] and start with the fact that you are alive! Also, whether you believe it to be true or not, there are people in the world who care about you, praise God! Such things are definitely worth celebrating.

I think I may have said this to you before, but, just in case you need a reminder: It is not about what you are faced with, it's all about how you choose to deal with it that often makes all the difference. Wallow for a bit, if you must, but, make sure you don't stay down. Get up, dust off your ill vibe, call someone you like/trust/love/care about and arrange to meet them before the month is done! Go!

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

WHAT LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR...

Nobody can live forever and your time is limited. There is nothing in this world that will remain indefinitely and that is why, within reason, [in accordance to the law wherever you reside of course], you should go after everything you want for yourself based entirely on your truth and not outside influences.

I believe everybody is deserving of more than what they might choose to settle for. In love, friendship, with a job/career, etc. Some people, having run out of steam in the pursuit of their goals, make the choice to quit and instead accept anything 'fairly decent' that doesn't even tick one of their previously super important, must-have boxes. That's very sad.

But I get it... Life is tiring. It's either not enough, or too much, but, rarely is it 'on the money', so to speak and, for some people, the never ending struggle to succeed can become a battle they lose the strength and will to keep fighting. Here's the thing though: I'm almost certain that choosing to make do with the cards you're dealt is far more draining mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, not to mention forever unsatsfying, than if you keep pushing for what it is you truly want, and one of the best ways to do that is to take responsibility for [and control of] your choices.

FAMILY GOALS
You won't always get along with your relatives and that's normal [for us imperfect humans], however, you don't have to be about the problems. You can be the one responsible for keeping the peace and not adding to any heated situations by controlling what you say and do. e.g.I don't have the best relationship with some of my relatives yet, instead of arguing about anything, I simply choose to remain respectful, polite [albeit at a distance] and where possible/necessary I positively contribute towards our relationship because, life is too short for family feuds.

FRIENDSHIP GOALS
You won't be in sync with your friends 24/7. There will be disagreements, fallouts, length periods of absence, etc. However, there will also be room for conversations. Choosing to calmly discuss your differences is a far better way to maintain a friendship. e.g. I have a friend with whom I very rarely see eye to eye. I love him and think the world of him [I'm not sure he even knows this so, I actually need to make that clear], but, we're often on different pages [owing to a number of factors] and that can lead to upset which creates tension. However, taking some time out to evaluate our friendship and reflect on my standards, as well as my expectations and then adjusting them slightly, realising they were a tad high, real talk, means we now get on much better! Instead of getting angry [like I use to] and spitting venom at him, whenever we have a dispute, I breathe [literally], pause for a moment to consider his feelings and his perspective and then I calmly share my reasons for why I disagree with him and guess what? He now does the same and we're a lot better as a result because, life is too short to lose friends over nonsense. 

PARTNERSHIP GOALS
You won't have it be romantic, adventurous, fun and sexy all the time, but, here's the thing: that is actually the beauty of growing together; learning what makes each other tick in different ways and at new stages of the relationship. e.g. My ex never understood what I meant when I said, "I have my life, you have yours and then we have one together". Somewhat shockingly, I had to explain that I believed it was healthier for us not to be joined at the hip; to allow one another the space to do things separately, which would likely help us to not take one another for granted and to also remain excited for when we do see each other because, life is too short to become complacent. 

Not taking myself too seriously - bathroom selfie

PROFESSIONAL GOALS
You won't immediately achieve all that you set out to because, we all need to take on the challenge of a few hurdles in order to realise and then appreciate just how strong we are and how well equipped we are to handle everything that comes our way. Building and retaining resilience is everything! 

However, your success depends entirely on how you choose to respond when things don't go the way you'd like them to. e.g.I once applied for a job that was advertised as being exactly what I was looking for. I was offered the position and once I started realised it was nothing at all like I had been told by the employer. I decided to speak out [which was received well] and subsequently gave me the opportunity to get ahead professionally [in the company] and to learn from my colleagues; making the best of a not so great situation because, life is too short to be unhappy at work.

OVERALL/LIFE
You won't like, or get on with everyone you meet. Fact! There will be personality clashes, or traits that irk you, or it may just be that you don't like the vibe someone walks with and that really is okay. However, the best way to deal with such people [if you have to be around them] is to limit your contact with them, to not take them too seriously [or yourself for that matter] to remain courteous and respectful, and don't entertain anything that doesn't sit right with you [which can be applied to all areas of your life] because, life is too short to give your time, or energy to anyone, or anything that doesn't add value to you! 

No matter what, don't box yourself in and try not to be influenced, or swayed by others. Remember, as I have told you before, you are worthy of greatness, but, in order to achieve that, you have to be all in when it comes to taking risks as well as making choices that others may frown upon. 

As long as you know, 1000%, that you are being/doing the best you can possibly be/do for yourself, and not to impress, or keep up with everyone else, you're winning!

Be confident in all that you are and all that you stand for/represent. You have a right to remain unique. I mean, nobody wants to be a clone do they? Life is definitely too short for that! LOL!! x

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

Happy New Year! This is my first blog post of 2018 and, I must say, it's good to be back here. I hope you each enjoyed Christmas [however you chose to spend it] and had a fabulous new year celebration. For me, it was a real delight; I absolutely loved it! I'm super chuffed that I finally had the opportunity to experience Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, London.... 

Winter Wonderland, Magical Ice Kingdom

... and I'm grateful for the wonderful family Christmas extravaganza including all things cosy, toasty, yummy and, of course, festive. I also feel very blessed to have received a lot of gifts too, all of which I appreciate!

I'm not one to rave, or seek out a social event to see in a new year, etc., so, on 31st December, I joined my immediate family again for a yummy feast then returned home to tick off my final list for 2017 - a few home related bits and bobs I was determined to get done before midnight - which I completed!

Once the festive season is done, it's time to focus on new year resolutions and I'm hoping these tips will help you to stay on track with yours.

⦁ Make sure your goals are realistic and fit within your means.
⦁ Do not concern yourself with what, or how, others are doing.
⦁ Remove the things and people who continue to hold you back!
⦁ Don't spread yourself thin - fewer targets are easier to achieve.
⦁ Limit distractions as they're likely to cause you to procrastinate.
⦁ You are in your own lane and, each time you get up you're winning.
⦁ Keep your resolutions to yourself - additional pressure isn't necessary.
⦁ Find what keeps you motivated, inspired and driven then fill your home with that!! 
⦁ Start as you mean to go - have an action plan for each goal and stick them on the wall.

You've got this and you can do it! Focus on yourself first.

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.