Sunday 25 February 2018

WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.

Now and then you might feel a tad lost on your path which is normal. In my experience, the worst thing you can do is quit, the best thing you can do is carry on. 

Wait a minute, I hear you! "If I don't know what to do anymore, Charley, how can I keep going?". There are many things you can do and here are the 4 I think are the most valuable.

1. Remind yourself what your goals are and why - the reasons will hopefully motivate you.

2. Analyse where you are so far - the results will give you clarity and inspire your next move.

3. Review the steps you've already taken - this will show you where you haven't been, or what you haven't tried, or considered yet.

4. Reach out - If you need help, get it! Have you ever heard of a King, or Queen, who rules on their own?

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Once you've answered those questions, honestly, you need to then realise what more you need to do, make a list and then start working your way through it. 

When you feel like you've tried absolutely everything you can possibly try to better your circumstances; to improve your situation and to take yourself further forward towards your goals, take a breather to gather your thoughts, but, keep going! Literally!! 

The photo above is highly flawed, however, it still serves its purpose. It's beyond cliché to say this, but, pushing through, regardless of any struggles, or imperfections, together with consistency, will pay off eventually.

Another short post, but, I hope, if it resonates, you can take something useful from it. Xx

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - The Myth We Like to Believe
You can now find audio versions of my blog posts on my SoundCloud page here

Random fact > As positively driven, optimistic and hopeful as I am, I've experienced some really dark times which I have always kept to myself. I survive and overcome each hurdle by choice - I refuse to give up and I encourage you to do the same!

Sunday 18 February 2018

THE MYTH WE LIKE TO BELIEVE

You already know everything I'm about to share with you in this post, but, I think, like myself, you're in need of a reminder.

What often looks like an overnight success is likely to have taken more than 10 years of non stop grind / hustle to achieve. Even if it were less than that time, it's likely the individual had a challenging, or difficult journey which at times may have felt like it was never going to amount to anything tangible.

Us imperfect humans have a terribly bad habit of comparing where we are currently to someone else's path when we have no knowledge of what their walk involves, or did involve. 

Here's the thing: as I'm sure is the case with you, most people tend to share online the greatness they experience. Their fun times, triumphs, happy moments, blessed opportunities and the alike. Rarely does anybody invite you to see the ugly side of their life and, in my opinion, this is not necessarily down to feelings of shame, but, rather because, ultimately we all want to live an amazing life and encourage those around us to do the same which is probably why most tend to only publicise the 'glitz and glam'. In fact, maybe posting only the good aspects of their life is how they motivate themselves... 
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Nobody is actually doing better than you. That's a certified myth. Each of us are simply in our own lane, running a race against our worst trying to be our very best. Fact. If you apply yourself accordingly and are consistent with your efforts you will most definitely succeed!

Please, if you have been doing so, stop reading into what you see online, conversations you overhear, even the experiences shared at talks, or networking events, etc. You are in a league of your own and where you are right now is less about where everyone else is and more about your decisions, actions and personality. If you want to improve, or change something about your life, start by indulging in a dose of honest self reflection, take the time to devise a new strategy, then go full steam ahead in the direction of your dreams without stopping to look back, nor at what anyone else is doing, has done, plans to do, etc. 

YOU ARE UNIQUE and YOUR LIFE is yours to navigate, however you see fit based on the terms and conditions that you choose for it. Every victory is born from having owned the struggle. Own yours without comparisons to others!

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - How To Survive Valentine's Day! [no longer relevant as V-day has been and gone, obviously, lol] x

You can purchase the book I am holding in the image here. [This is not an affiliate link].

Random fact > When my brother, Ashley, was aged 8/9 he tutored me for my GCSE Maths exam [I was aged 16]. He was / is such a whiz! For all of his efforts, although I was awarded a decent grade, to this day, I am still terrible at Maths!

Sunday 11 February 2018

HOW TO SURVIVE VALENTINE'S DAY!

Single? Not ready, or wanting to date? Anti Valentine's Day? Partner away? 

You don't have to stay underneath the duvet with your phone switched off and ear plugs in to avoid the day of all things love and romance! Love and romance yourself!!

SET UP YOUR HOME
On the actual day itself, arrange things so that you're kept busy and focused on something that isn't only a distraction, but; that is also fun to do. It can be anything, from changing the layout of a room, some decorating, a D.I.Y project that's still pending, etc. Or, if you can, fill your home with beautiful things that inspire and encourage a positive, upbeat mood, but, that are not typical of Valentine's Day. E.G. your favourite flowers [second favourite if they're roses, lol], freshly washed laundry, music, positive quotes / art on the walls [which you can create yourself, or get from the net], inspirational, or comical books to read, etc.

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OUTDOORS
If you're in a position to, book yourself a workshop, or a course, take a trip to a gallery, a museum, or go check out that local spot you've been meaning to visit for the longest time; spend some time with nature. Call on a [single] friend to join you! OR, just meet with a friend for a coffee and a leisurely walk. There are so many options! If blessed with a job, hopefully your role is so varied and non stop that you won't have any time to think about it being the so-called day of love.

FOOD
Obviously, avoid going to the usual restaurants and other hot spots that typically attract couples on Valentine's Day. Alternatively, instead of going out to eat that day, make sure you have enough groceries indoors to cook yourself a tasty treat from scratch. There are several bargain stores that sell great cookbooks. Perhaps you can try a recipe you've never tried before. Again, maybe invite a friend over and share the responsibility of buying the ingredients as well as the cooking.

SOCIAL MEDIA
Have the day off! Seriously!! If you're already feeling a tad low about being single, or alone on Valentine's Day, being active on Twitter, Facebook and especially Instagram, [etc.] isn't going to do you any good! It's super healthy to have the occasional break from the internet anyway and what better time than a day when you're likely to see things that could bring you down? 

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The reality is, it's just another day, but, it can be quite hard for some people for many different reasons, including loss, relating to finances, etc. I see Valentine's Day as an opportunity to [for an entire day] give thanks for love in the most simple of ways [extravagance isn't necessary, in my opinion]. Be thankful for self love, love between friends, family love, even love for, or from a neighbour! 

So, if you're prone to feeling especially rubbish on 14th February, either pamper yourself, or try to ensure you are with someone / people with whom you can have a laugh. The day will come and go in a blink. Make sure it's a fab one!

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - My Ideal Valentine...

Random fact > I get bored so easily which can have me feel incredibly frustrated. Sadly, this applies to absolutely everything and everyone, real talk

Sunday 4 February 2018

MY IDEAL VALENTINE...

CopyrightCharleyJaiI'm laughing out loud as I write this, because, if you've been reading my blog for several years, you already know that I am so against the money making fad that is Valentines Day. Nonetheless, I have actually 'celebrated' the occasion before [an ex of mine was all about it and would spoil me something rotten], but, far from having softened, I do understand that for some people it's less about the hype and more about focusing on love. So, if my significant other wanted us to do something for valentines day, here's what would 'do it' for me.

PLAN & PREPARE
Don't be [too] spontaneous with it. Go out of your way to demonstrate just how much you respect, appreciate, value and love me. It's nice to see that someone has really thought about how they intend to make someone else feel special, even if it is only for one day. 

BE MONEY SMART
Spending a huge amount of your hard earned cash, or even if you didn't have to work your bottom off for the money you have, to lavish me with gifts far too delicate to use, an extravagant meal at an uncomfortably high end restaurant, followed by super expensive flowers, chocolates [I'm not into plants, nor am I that keen on chocs] and whatever else, is all a bit, "really? Isn't this what most other couples are doing today?".

I'd much rather you reserved some time just for us and we visit somewhere we've not been before [discovering new places is one of my fave things to do] where we can simply take in the surroundings; do a spot of sightseeing. Or, you can arrange a cosy, comfy movie marathon [of films we've not yet seen], with home made popcorn and / or a meal you've cooked yourself. 

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Alternatively, if you insist on taking me out for a meal, let it be somewhere fairly quiet and understated! A meaningful, stress free, chilled and cost effective way to celebrate us is more likely to have me say, "yes" to a 'valentine's day date'. Money has nothing on time and that's what matters - time!

CREATE A LASTING MEMORY
Make something for me; for us. A small, cute, thoughtful D.I.Y treat is always a winner because, it says so much more than "I love you". The time spent creating, or building that particular thing, whatever it may be, will be so appreciated and also one of the best kept symbols of your feelings for me. A memory we can both cherish, especially if we share the experience of creating / building it. Remember, valentines day is about shared love not one person showering the other with a whole heap of romance!

DON'T SAY, "I LOVE YOU"!
How cliché and less likely to hold much meaning when said on a day where it is expected. Just show me in your own, unique; original way. 

That's it! A simple woman, not necessarily easily pleased, but, one who is all about authenticity, simplicity and originality.
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How do you plan on celebrating v-day, folks?

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - There's No Going Back!

Random fact > I once had a crush [cannot stand that word] on the same person for almost nine years and never told them which was all kinds of foolish because, they felt the same way about me and made it very clear! There's a valid reason why I kept hush, but, it wouldn't be fair to disclose that.... Not now anyway! Soz, folks.