Sunday 24 June 2018

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF!

I know it can be incredibly difficult to lead with your heart, especially if you've been hurt quite badly, but, I also know that it can be very taxing on your soul when you deliberately ignore your true feelings.

Many of us have a fear of, or worry about, being let down [usually based on a past experience] and that fear / worry is likely to build a barrier between where we are and where we could be if we would just let ourselves trust again. If you allow your past to dictate your future, you will most certainly miss out on a lot of greatness which could actually last forever!
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How about you take the lessons and just look ahead. Not everyone you meet will have an ill agenda towards you and, having learned from previous relationships, I'm sure you'll be able to spot any red flags and will then do a speedy U-turn, right?!? Make space for your heart to reap the joy that it deserves...

None of us are perfect and no two people are the same, so, we shouldn't judge the next by the previous. At the end of the day, when it comes to matters of the heart, you know by the way it feels so, make sure your pride, ego, stubbornness and outside influences are not standing in the way of you being with someone who could actually be The One if you'd only give them a real, solid chance and set aside any ill feelings you have towards a former partner, relative, or friend who may have done you wrong.

If holding on to pain from a toxic / painful experience has seen you block a potential new chapter with somebody and you're now ready to let go of that feeling, reach out to them and explain in as much detail as you can so [you are understood and] they're given the opportunity to realise why you may have been acting in a way that has left them confused about where they stand with you. Ask that they be patient whilst you recover instead of pushing them away completely. It's never easy to put yourself out there and trust again after being hurt, but, it's hugely important, for you, that you get yourself together and get over it. There's everything to gain from letting go. Leave the past alone! It can have no negative impact on where you are now, or where you plan to be, without an invitation.


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There are too many wonderful people in the world for you not to find a few that match your personality, interests, standards, etc. Plus, the years continue to roll by ridiculously fast, so, literally, the time for embracing change, stepping outside of your comfort zone, taking a realistic and well considered risk on matters of the heart, is NOW!

Again, don't allow yourself to miss out on the possibility of something super awesome with someone [romantic, or otherwise] based entirely on a negative experience with anyone else. You are 1000% deserving of greatness!!

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - Dear New Father's...

Random Fact > I have zero interest in raising a family of my own [click here to learn why], but, my favourite YouTubers are a super cute family named The Michalaks. I watch their mini movies every Sunday and they always put me in a great mood! Check out their channel.

Sunday 17 June 2018

DEAR NEW FATHER'S,

There's no manual.
There's no set way.
There's no preparation that will ever be enough.
There's no getting everything right all of the time.

There is self-belief and prayer.
There is understanding, support and patience.

There will be growth where you sow.
There will be prosperity where you nurture.
There will be strength and resilience if you guide.
There will be confidence and happiness where you lead.

V_RealTalkUKBlog_CharleyJai
Any dude can become a dad, but, it takes a remarkably selfless, hearty, open-minded, dedicated, conscientious, loyal, forward-thinking, responsible and loving man to be a father. Don't put any pressure on yourself to be the superhero you know you'll never be. Simply do the very best you can, with what you have, as you learn and know that you are appreciated, imperfections and all. You've got this! 

Although I'm not one for this particular season, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to you - the man who chooses to set aside his pride and ego so as to raise his child, or children, freely, with affection, time, cuddles, laughs, sweet reminders of just how important their life is in your own, an abundance of love and then some! God bless you.


J_RealTalkUKBlog_CharleyJai
To the mother's making every effort to step in and step up in place of father's who, for whatever reason, are absent, I respectfully salute each of you! You're doing the best you can and that's more than enough! 

*DISCLAIMER: The photographs included in this post were submitted by friends of mine who gave their permission for the images to be used just as they have been included in this article*

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - read it here

Random Fact > Although there is a deep love in my heart for many [family and friends], I have never been in-love.

Sunday 10 June 2018

HOW TO KEEP YOUR HOME CLEAN & TIDY 24/7!

Personally, I take great pride in making sure my home is inviting, especially during the hotter months. Not that I host much, partly due to my anxiety and, also, because, I'm really precious about who I allow into my personal space, however, I was taught from a very young age that it's better to stay on top of household chores to prevent them from mounting up! So, although there's no 'one size fits all', here are a few tips to help you maintain a presentable home that you will always feel proud to open the door to [you may already do these things which is great]!

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BULK BUY
Buying in bulk means I buy less often and I save a lot of money too! It's a good idea to ensure you always have the necessary materials for both a basic and thorough clean. You don't ever want to be caught out, especially if you are to have guests over at the last minute and need to give everywhere a bit of a spruce! I tend to purchase a few of each cleaning item, toiletries and household necessities, every 2 - 3 / 4 months and I use them sparingly where possible. More often than not, you only need to use a tiny bit of, say, Fairy Liquid for a sink full of used plates, cups, crockery, etc., which means the product will last much longer. The same applies to shower gel, to give you another example - we don't need to squeeze almost half of the bottle per body part, lol... Less than a handful is more than enough to wash yourself from head to toe nail! 

PERSONAL STANDARDS
Your own cleanliness and hygiene will have an impact on how you feel about yourself and how you socialise. Feeling fresh and smelling good, as well as looking presentable, will naturally uplift your mood, boost your confidence and put a spring in your step. Also, when you feel good within yourself, you'll want to ensure that same vibe is felt throughout your home, which will encourage you to maintain a clean and tidy household.

DAILY EFFORT
CopyrightCharleyJaiClear up after yourself as you go and put things back in their designated place [not just anywhere that's out of the way] straight after you're done with them. Leaving dishes to pile up, a mix of clean and dirty clothes to sort, or put away 'whenever', a messy lounge to be tidied 'some other time', could be left pending for too long, which just creates more mess and chaos! Your home is your sanctuary and so returning every day, especially if you've had a bit of a challenging time at work, etc., to a clutter free, clean space will do wonders for your overall health. 

EVENING COMMITMENT
Get ready for tomorrow before you go to bed! Choose your outfit, decide what you'll need with you for the day and prepare; get everything ready!This will give you peace of mind and support a good night's sleep and, the following day, you're less likely to leave your home looking like a number of bombs have gone off which will only upset you when you return and want nothing more than to relax, not be concerned with having to get your home in order. 

Do a little every day so there is less to do at the end of the week / month. Make a conscious, daily effort and you will see positive, long term results. Plus, you'll definitely feel a thousand times better within yourself and about your home. 

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - 6 Things You Should Not Do!

Random Fact > Whilst at an ex boyfriend's place [for the first time], I pretended to suddenly feel unwell and asked that we go for a drive after I had walked into his toilet [almost bursting to relieve myself] and was 'greeted' by the most awful stench and [to put it somewhat politely] a level of filth that was beyond shocking! The toilet itself had a discoloured rim and had a stain at the base of the inside! To this day, I cannot believe he said I could use it!! **vom**

Sunday 3 June 2018

6 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO!

Although the actual list is far more extensive, here are a few things I think we should all implement, long-term...

WORRY ABOUT TIME
The more you allow yourself to get worked up about the time you do, or don't have, the quicker you lose it. Better to utilise every second by doing whatever it is you need, or want to do. Let me not remind you how short life is!!

CHOOSE THE 'SAFE' OPTION
Have you read my post titled THE MAN FOR ME? There's everything right with making a conscious decision to not settle for anyone [or anything] you do not feel, in your heart, is right for you. To settle is like telling the world, "I don't believe I am worthy of receiving the things I truly want". Erm, hello? You are more than worthy!

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FOLLOW THE HYPE!
I understand wanting to stay on top of the latest trends, news, events, etc., however, allowing yourself to be caught up with certain things can be a distraction that is not likely to serve you well. In recent years a young man became a selfie addict [if my memory serves me correctly, he was taking up to 200 pictures per day and would delete any that did not receive a certain amount of likes once shared on Instagram], he went into rehab and, post recovery, told his story on Good Morning Britain, broadcast by ITV. His life hasn't been the same since! I genuinely felt so sad for the guy. How anyone can get to a point where they become totally consumed by a [mostly] superficial, filtered world is just beyond me!!

REFUSE HELP / SUPPORT FROM OTHERS
There is no such thing as Superhuman, sorry to disappoint you. When you know you could do with a helping hand, a shoulder, some advice, etc., request it from those you trust. Better to say, "I've achieved my goal with a little support" than to have to accept that you failed, or only achieved part of your goal, knowing that was as a result of not asking for help.

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DECLINE INVITATIONS FROM LOVED ONES
Unless you genuinely have other commitments, whether things are good with you, or not, I believe it's a great idea to take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with your nearest and dearest. Sometimes the very thing we feel we don't want is exactly what we need to give us the motivating, or positive and encouraging vibe we're missing. Earlier this year I experienced a particular struggle [for the first and, God willing, hopefully the last time] and, although I initially chose to keep myself to myself, it was a bit of a pushy invitation to lunch that gave me the mood shake I was so in need of and, real talk, my circumstances began to improve. Massively!! [I may blog about what actually happened one day. Not sure]. I am so thankful for my loved ones, I really am.

PURSUE JOBS YOU CAN 'EASILY' DO
This is one of the worst things you can do to yourself and others. I, myself, have done this [gone for a role I knew I could do with my eyes closed, even though I didn't want it] and, although I do not regret my choice [it was a tremendous learning curve], never would I do that again, because I ended up making myself unwell and I under performed in the job because, I couldn't stand it - the building, the people, the structure, the way the business was run, etc. It was not for me!! I believe it will always be much more rewarding to hold out for something that's in line with your morals and professional goals, but, also a role which allows your personality to shine which is exactly what I currently have and I am so beyond grateful to God for that!

Think about what it is you're doing; the things you do, how you interact with others, what and whom you give your time, energy and efforts to and how those actions contribute towards your goals. The aim of that thought process should be to reach a logical conclusion about the choices you're making, but, don't over think. Finally, it might be worth saying "yes" where you would typically say "no" [within reason, in relation to all of the above] and see where that takes you. 

Thanks for reading.
PREVIOUS POST - 5 Key Communication Tips

Random Fact > I worked for the 2012 Olympics in Hospitality and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would, but, it was a short contract and my aim was to gain experience! Plus, I love me a bit of Customer Service and hosting so, I knew I'd be alright.