TIME TO MOVE ON...

Hello, you might need to enlarge the photo to read my message to you! x

Thank you so, SO much for your support. It will always mean the world! 

FIND MY SOCIALS & MORE here: https://linktr.ee/charleyjaiuk

Charley - @charleyjaiuk x

TOO MANY PIES

I’ve gone back and forth on this for a long time. Several years in fact. Like many in the world, I am very creative... I love black and white art (the main reason I took an interest in photography from a young age) and can spend hours inside a gallery. As a child and well into my late 20’s, acting, dancing and singing was everything. Literally. Performing was all I spoke of, dreamt of, and worked hard to become great at. Writing began in the form of poetry, randomly, I never expected to enjoy it – essay writing, storyboard writing, scriptwriting, narration, cue cards, blogging… Any form of writing and also reading. At one point, I was going to write a book! But, I don’t believe for one second any publisher would’ve touched it. Even if they did, nobody would buy it. Nobody. Or, they’d have done so in secret.

The list of creative endeavours is lengthy… But, having taken the time to reflect on a WhatsApp voice note conversation (does anyone speak to each other on the phone anymore?), I decided that enough is enough. I’m bored and, yes, a tad fed up, but mostly bored. I don’t feel as inspired to create for the Blog, etc., in the way that I use to. Especially since Rona decided to rock up with its destructive clart!! I also know that the fulfilment of my purpose is not wrapped up in wordy blog posts people no longer want to read and in thinking about this I was inspired to launch my IGTV show named AMPLIFIED TV (formerly Surviving Lockdown) which is the only reason I remain on Insta!

My voice is one that definitely has a place in this upside-down world. I think it’s time I used it more whenever I feel to, in support of positive causes that are aligned with my purpose, where appropriate. This is not the end of my Blog necessarily. As I’ve said, I love to write and will probably continue. However, you will need to be subscribed to the Blog to receive updates of any articles I publish as I’ll not be ‘promoting’ each post via social media. Alternatively, if you’re interested in seeing more of me in the (virtual) flesh and getting to know me a bit better, follow and interact with me on Instagram.

Grateful to the loyal ones who read every post I publish and whose support is consistent. If ever I hit the ‘big time’, YOU will be the people I remember and who I will choose to take with me!!

I hope this post makes sense.

Big love,

Charley x

WHAT IS AN INFLUENCER?

What does an Influencer, influence? And by 'Influencer' I'm referring to those typically found on Instagram who are usually made famous by sharing everything relating to fashion, beauty, hair, makeup, fitness, etc., often in the most superficial way. The ones who use the hashtags #influencer, #ad, #spon and the rest, with most of their posts containing products they have been paid or gifted to advertise! What does it mean? Who or what do they influence and in what way exactly?

Now, don't get it twisted, there is no jealously here nor envy. I don't do those vibes at all. I just do not understand the whole 'influencer' thing. Genuinely. But, what I do understand is that there are many who are very easily mislead.

How often have you seen one of these 'influencers' promote something and have then bought it? And how many times were those products beneficial to you? You parted with your money to purchase something the 'influencer' was gifted or paid to sell to you, essentially. A win-win for them, but, most likely a lose-lose for you because you're now quids down and I doubt you needed said products.

See, when I was growing up, an influencer, although not necessarily referred to as such, was somebody who through their positively focused, selfless acts, inspired and encouraged so many to do and be great. No money involved, no ad's, no promo, nothing gifted. Just good old fashioned, authentic, honest living that inspired others.

To be that sort of influencer, in my opinion, is to be proud of.

I know we all need to earn to live and I get that a lot of these social media influencers feel as though they cannot turn down opportunities to earn big bucks, but if they are truly testing these products and have genuinely found that they're good then, cool. However, I suspect that with most that's not the case.

What a funny world we now live in where somebody who is paid to advertise products to their social media following can call that "a job" and that job title is Influencer. Wow! Isn't a bad thing, just a strange one...

Charley x

@charleyjaiuk

An audio version of this post is available via - SPOTIFY and PODBEAN

#job

#influencer

#moderntimes
#socialmediahustle

ARE YOU BEING HONEST ABOUT WHO YOU ARE?

The other day I was looking at my Instagram and Facebook pages and I asked myself, “are your social media profiles an honest and accurate representation of who you are and what you do?”. I’m not sure about everywhere else in the world but, us Brits are known for our modesty. We tend to shy away from speaking our truth; speaking confidently about the person we are and the things we do because, well, we likely worry that we might come across as boastful or arrogant. But, here’s the thing. So what if we do?

At the end of the day, especially if somebody has taken an interest in wanting to learn more about you, why would you be more concerned with what they will think is your truth versus what you know to be your truth? Until recently I never described myself as being a person who operates with care and consideration, a proud and confident brown woman who feels quite happy with life but wants to see so many major improvements in her life. 

I am an award-winning blogger turned podcaster, an advocate for positive young leaders, a mentor for aspiring talents and a presenter still seeking that golden opportunity. I’m single and have been for a while and although very happy solo I pray that I will one day be part of a duo because this single ting is now a long ting; I’m over it! 

What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with saying, "I am accomplished but with so much more to achieve, happily single but really wanting to meet the one for me and I am somebody working towards the pursuit of her goals openly, honestly, passionately but with care and consideration"?. What’s wrong with putting that out there? I mean, doing so might actually bring me the things that I want most. 

So, who are you and are you being honest about who you are, where you’re at and where you hope to end up?

Charley x

@charleyjaiuk

An audio version of this post is available via - SPOTIFY and PODBEAN

#honesty

#selfworth

#liveyourtruth

#shamelessyou

DON'T LET THE LIGHT GO OUT

What do you do when you feel like you’re losing it even though (when you pause to consider why) you can find no just reason why you should actually be losing it?

What do you do when everything you thought you had dealt with shows up with the ugliest of reminders that all you’ve done is buried the emotion, but not the pain?

What do you do when the memories you don’t want to remember resurface in a dream that plays on repeat every, single, night?

What do you do when you cannot stop the tears from falling and have no idea why they’re falling?

What do you do when it seems to be that everybody else has their ish together while you cannot quite get a grip on your own?

What do you do when you finally speak your undeniable truth out loud only for your words filled with a desperate need to be helped fall on ears that choose not to listen?

What do you do when all you have is you and the you that you thought you knew has given up on you to?

It's not just about this season, it's not just about the lives that we've lost. It's not just about the struggles and the battles that inevitably come with this challenging season. It's about how we as human beings seem to be evolving. It's about the fact that the more we seem to have that is available to us that should be keeping us connected we remain so disconnected and a lot of people because they are disconnected; because nobody seems to care or seems to know how to show they care, are choosing to just see their way out; they're choosing to take their own life.

This is not an easy thing to write about; it isn't an easy thing for you to read about, I'm sure, but it's something that needs to be said. We continue to shy away from speaking on the things that need to be spoken about and the interesting thing is that when we speak on these things, and we open up the door to making it okay for people to speak on these things, we can potentially save lives.

It's crazy writing about such things. I sit at home and just write. I write from a moment, a conversation, watching something or reading something... Inspiration, as you know, comes from so many different things, people and places but, it's sitting heavy on my heart at the moment to know that so many people feel lonely. I've said this before, there's a fine line between being alone and feeling lonely... It's good to get together with yourself and to be comfortable in your own company but it's not good to be lonely. It's not good for people to leave each other feeling lonely. So if you are someone who knows that for the longest time you haven't reached out to certain people I urge you to do just that.

Sometimes we think of people but we allow them to just cross our mind. The next time you think of somebody pick up the phone and flipping call them. Don't send them a WhatsApp, don't send them a DM, don't tag them in something on Facebook, pick up the phone and just say, "Hey! I was thinking of you so I thought I'd check-in".

What do you do when you feel like you’re losing it even though when you pause to consider why you can find no just reason why you should actually be losing it?

If in our darkest moments we don't feel that we have anybody we can turn to the light goes out. Don't be the reason that somebody's light goes out.

Charley x

@charleyjaiuk

An audio version of this post is available via - SPOTIFY and PODBEAN

FYI - This post was written after it was spontaneously recorded and uploaded as a podcast.

THIS IS FOR YOU

"You definitely have a great voice for radio and voice-over work, Charley, and you also have a really nice face for the screen too. I honestly think you're in the wrong line of work. You should be a presenter, or documentary maker, maybe voice reality TV shows? But you most certainly should not be working on a desk, at a computer screen, all day, where your talents are wasted instead of being given every opportunity to shine!" 

It's SO lovely when I receive such complimentary encouragement. This is something that has been said to me, by various people, in different ways, for many years. I've worked in T.V., Theatre, Film, and Radio and have loved those gigs/jobs more than any other, so, this is my bag for sure, however, I've yet to find the right door. But, I will keep striving until I do.

I don't usually divulge such things, but, I wanted to share this in the hope that it encourages anyone who might be feeling discouraged at this time. Rest if you must but, do not quit. Your talents are exactly what somebody somewhere is in need of. They just haven't come across you yet. They will if you stick with your pursuit!!

Stay hopeful and keep working on yourself. Get better, stronger, develop your skills and prepare for when it's your time!

Charley x
@charleyjaiuk

An audio version of this post is available via - SPOTIFY and PODBEAN



#career
#passion
#creative
#personaldevelopment

QUARANTINE LOVE...

This post has been inspired by a recent episode of my IGTV show AMPLIFIED! titled Dating in Lockdown. 

I’ve mentioned the dating app Hinge on my blog before. Most of the men I came across on there appeared to be seeking a live-in-chef who can also clean, wash laundry, iron and provide ‘extra’s’ upon request. YAWN!!!! NO SUBSTANCE!! These are brown men (as per my preference) and supposedly grown, real talk! It’s as if there are none left with an ounce of maturity or depth. It’s just the cannot-prepare-a-meal-for-myself-and-don't-clean-up-after-myself-but-I-want-a-woman-who-can-do-those-things-while-also-looking-100-all-of-the-time type of men who remain single. I mean, go figure…

Here’s the thing. Truth be told, I do like my own space, on my own terms. I enjoy every moment of peace and stillness. I never truly feel lonely although in recent months I'm very aware that, outside of work, I am alone most days – before and during the lockdown. Do you get what I mean? There’s a big difference between being by yourself and feelings of loneliness. For me, the latter isn’t a problem because I always have something to focus on.

I mean, as I’m writing this post, I have no idea if I actually want to date or not and this has been my personal tug of war for a little while now. Seeing couples who ‘look’ blissfully happy has me consider the possibility of that for myself. But, when I see/hear couples at loggerheads I immediately feel super grateful that I haven’t had such a headache for some time and it’s that which has kept me solo. I cannot ever deal with nonsense again. EVER!

I’m a Virgo and while I do not 'buy into' zodiac descriptions, it is absolutely true that Virgo women can be incredibly complex. We are so sure (most of the time); so final with what we do and how we do it (in the home, at work, on a deeper personal level, etc.) that I think we sometimes do ourselves a disservice when it comes to matters of the heart without even realising. A Virgo can hold her own and maybe that means she is less likely to leave herself open to attracting the partner she imagines herself to be with. Knowing that doesn’t automatically change her though, especially once past the age of 30; lol, she’s quite stuck in her ways and so, it would take an incredible human to enter her world and turn it upside down in the best possible way.

I deleted the dating app, Hinge. Although I did not encounter any issues with it as such (and did go on a few virtual dates whilst in quarantine/lockdown), overall, I found the app to be such a bore. The men I came across were so typical (food, sports, gym, sex) and lacked the ability to hold a balanced conversation *rolls eyes*. That said, I don't know if I'm 1000% certain that I am ready to give up my simple, drama-free life for something that will undoubtedly be a tad more hectic than I’m now used to and that isn't necessarily due to the type of man I may potentially choose to be with, but because all relationships come with pre-programmed seasons in my opinion. From the ‘honeymoon period’ to the first glitch and the rest, there's always some ish to deal with.

I'm old school, I'd quite like to meet somebody organically (as has always been the case in the past) but, it seems, nowadays, meeting people IN REAL LIFE is somewhat impossible when heads are in screens or legs are moving like they’re powered by Duracell to get wherever it is they’re going. Eye contact doesn't happen much at all anymore! I guess even less so owing to the current times? I don't know...

Advanced technology and with almost everything so easily available via the internet means, I think, many feel less of a need to leave themselves open to a more genuine way of meeting/connecting with somebody which is a shame. I think we're more likely to see exactly what we can expect when we randomly meet in person than if we 'cross paths' online.

All of the above said, ambitious single brown men between the age of 38 and 45 who live in the UK, without children (and are not interested in having kids), non-smokers, no chequered past that still impacts your present, who prefer to go exploring than 'hit' the clubs, pubs, bars and other such 'hotspots', who are independent but not self-obsessed, not flashy (I have zero interest in your money, whatever car you drive, what material possessions you have, etc.) and with a mature sense of humour, holla!

Charley - @charleyjaiuk x

A NOD TO WHITE PEOPLE!

To the ones who are ACTIVELY anti-racist,

THANK YOU for showing up, for putting your career on the line, for risking potential opportunities, for taking on the opposition of your family, for losing friends, for accepting the loss of love, for standing up in the face of so much hate in support of Black and Brown people. For not backing down, for not giving up, for committing to the cause, for staying by our side, for every post shared to highlight (systemic and institutionalised) racism and every other sickening treatment on those targeted just because they are Black and/or Brown. 

For choosing to get educated, for wanting to help however you can, for openly using your privilege for good and to better the lives of Black and Brown people. For publicly being in support of (ALL) BLACK LIVES MATTER... 

A nod to the white people who not only get it but have consistently demonstrated that they will continue to be forever about it - THANK YOU!

Black and Brown people are likely to always feel the negative impact of what has been done to them historically and what they are experiencing today (as well as anything that may be ahead of them in the form of racism, etc.) however, I know most (if not all of us) realise that not every white person is racist. We see those of you who are firmly in our corner, speaking on our behalf and boldly making moves, irrespective of any repercussions to help us finally end the harsh treatment we have faced at the hands of the oppressors for centuries. 

Gratitude is a must and so, with this post, I am extending a hearty THANKS to each white person doing their part and then some! 🖤

God bless,
Charley - @charleyjaiuk x

BROWN PEOPLE ON STAGE & SCREEN...

Random fact: I really do not like the words Black (an association to evil, fear and aggression), BAME (a patronising term used to describe certain people considered to be 'less than'), or Urban (a racial stereotype which is a waste of a word). These words have always made me feel uncomfortable but, like so many I became accustomed to using them, accepting their apparent ‘representation’. I much prefer the words *Brown (referring to people whose skin/complexions are beautiful shades of brown) and Underrepresented (those who are inadequately represented or supported).

Bigwigs have a duty to positively represent all and that includes Brown/Black people. Pertaining to the entertainment industry in the UK, there are opportunities (albeit with the world of struggles and barriers), however, we are less likely to be given a prime gig and more likely to be portrayed/treated negatively when booked!

Diversity, inclusion, and representation have always been amiss when it comes to Brown people. While, notably, there have been some improvements, featuring a few, or the odd 1, on a Talk Show, for example, does not represent diversity, inclusion, or representation any more than a ‘comedy’ show with an all-brown cast does. We need to see and hear relatable content on every channel, every stage, in every magazine, billboards, radio, and screens, etc., worldwide, and the ratio needs to be equal and frequent. We need for these representations to be POSITIVE and UPLIFTING. There is more to Brown people than comedy and tragedy!!

TV and Filmmaking Execs, etc., need to show themselves to be actively anti-racist by employing and featuring more Brown people. Many say they're listening, however; they refuse to have us in the room where they claim to be making decisions on how to 'better represent' who we are, our heritage, our stories, etc. This confuses me. How can I better represent whites, for example, with the content I create for my blog if I do not speak directly to white people about the views and feelings surrounding their needs, struggles, experiences, etc.? The same applies to Brown people. It isn't as simple as thinking you know, or only speaking with well-known, or highly successful people from our community. You've got to converse with all of us!

We cannot continue to have white people 'flying the flag' for us, as it were. That is not the way. It has never been the way. 400+ years and it is still the same responses from one too many white Execs/bosses across all industries which results in the same devastation for Brown people followed by the inevitable protests. It's ridiculous that I am even writing this! I shouldn't be. It's 2020 for goodness sake!!

The Media, Education, Corporate, Commercial and every other institution, requires serious reform. Brown people will be better represented when they are included in making the relevant changes towards achieving this goal. We need to have a say across ALL platforms and sectors. That is inclusion and diversity!! Not keeping us at arm's length, continuing to exclude us, while at the same time displaying slogans, banners and messages throughout your websites and social media accounts which state - BLACK LIVES MATTER. 

It starts with just one of you TV bosses, Casting Directors, Filmmakers, Magazine Editors, Radio Execs, etc., extending an invitation to Brown people to join you in a very transparent conversation about the issues the majority seem ready to discuss. Yes, it will be uncomfortable but, it will also be the start of the change all of us need to see. There is no quick fix but to begin the remedy, in my humble opinion, white led and white driven organisations need to start employing Brown and underrepresented people and also include us in certain decision-making especially where the representation of us is concerned. Don't just say you support us, SHOW us that you do!

Charley - @charleyjaiuk

BLACK AND PROUD!

No disclaimer because I don’t gi a rarse who may or may not be offended. My truth, in this post, is born from pain. The pain I am entitled to feel, to sometimes wallow in and to share as and when I see it is necessary. Necessary to heal, necessary to help others heal. Heal so I do not turn into my oppressors, the oppressors still oppressing in the face of the current times, oppressors who do not realise their time is about to be up, the oppressors of black people. People with heart, soul, ongoing strength, the loudest courage, deep wisdom, and an awakened emotionally charged fire no amount of comfort can put out.

This chapter of the fight, BLACK LIVES MATTER, is The One that will not end until Black people see the change we have needed to see as of 1619! We are finally using our voices in a bold and unapologetically passionate way (no holding back, just like our ancestors) to speak on every injustice and we will keep speaking, shouting and pushing for our voices to be heard until we get results!

Jim Crow's segregation laws had the objective of denying persons free from slavery any equal rights or access to the political system. Those laws have been abolished, it is now 2020, yet there remains among us too many who are religiously ignorant. They're about to get the most shocking wake up call of their lives because black people are NOT having it anymore. The unlawful killings of black people will STOP!!

The brutal lynching of George Floyd, like a shockingly disgraceful long list of blacks before and since him, stirred up the world of emotions in me. His unlawful murder got me in my throat and in the pit of my stomach. The anger was instant and has not left an ounce of my being. But, do you know what? I don’t want it to. I need it to stay. I need to stay hurt, vexed, for the fire in my belly to continue to roar, for my head to continue thinking of ways I can contribute towards the change we need and for my heart to remember that love is why we are here and love is why we matter. Love is why we fight!

To my Black people – we feel, think, digest, process and respond differently, but, we ARE and always will be one race: one community. We are affected, but we are not broken. We may be physically distant but, we can be socially connected. Some of us will protest offline and some of us will make noise online. However we choose to invest, the important thing is that we do (respectfully and peacefully) because without a united stance we may never have the oppressors recognise that our lives matter! Don’t come together just for the time. Come together and stay together indefinitely because each of our lives depends on our unity. We need to continuously feel proud of our heritage, spurred on by the great achievements of our ancestors, push forward with the work we are doing today and believe that, by the grace of God, concrete changes will follow. We need to continue the fight for as long as it takes. Together!

White racist people, read this slowly – black and brown people are not here to serve you in any sort of way and we were not birthed to be hunted for sport either! Your sudden realisations that you have been or are ignorant is not something we can support you with but, there, there now... Google is readily available to everybody! Get educated, elevate your consciousness, unlearn the conditioned thinking and behaviour that has caused you to despise Black people! Change is hot on the heels of everyone. Don’t resist the revolution, get with the programme!!

To White people who are genuinely in support of Black Lives - the most important things you can do to support us is to use your privilege to STAND IN THE WAY OF BRUTALITY and to open the doors to platforms where we can and will be heard.

I am proud of my fellow black people. Proud of the activism efforts of so many. Proud of the conversations we are finally showing up for. Proud of the honesty we are sharing. Proud of the movement - BLACK LIVES MATTER TOO! BLACK LIVES WILL ALWAYS MATTER! ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!!

I AM SO PROUD TO BE BLACK!!

Now read this post again to fully understand the message here.

God bless,

Charley Jai x
@charleyjaiuk

AUDIO VERSION of this post can be listened to here: 

https://charleyjaiuk.podbean.com/e/black-proud-charley-jai/

7 REASONS TO SMILE

We all know that a smile can do so much; it's often enough to cause a much-needed boost of positivity and smiling feels amazing, especially when a smile shared is returned. That said, random fact, I often try to not smile as I’ve never been a fan of my crooked teeth ☹ although the thought of this just made me laugh, LOL!!

Have you ever caught yourself mid smile and asked yourself, “what has me smiling?”. I do, every time…

1: Future possibilities – I sometimes get really excited about the potential of tomorrow. I try not to dwell because, as we all know, today is the only guarantee we have but, it makes me so happy to ponder over what my future might look like; what I may (eventually) achieve for myself.

2: The happiness of ‘my’ children – the young ones in my life mean such a great deal to me and then some! I love them equally and pray for them all the time. That they are safe, happy, developing well, flourishing, enjoying life, will have the brightest future, to be around long enough to see them living their futures, etc. Equally, knowing that all my loved ones are well, happy and enjoying life makes me smile.

Some of my faves

3: Writing – I mean, if you hadn’t noticed by now, I LOVE blogging! My interest in writing began when I was aged 8 and had to write a short story about an elephant as per the assignment from one of my teachers (at primary school) who was obsessed, to say the least, with elephants. I then went on to continue writing stories about animals and later progressed into poetry, some journalism and then blogging. I feel so calm and free as I'm writing, mostly when the words just flow. I only write if I'm inspired hence why there are times when I don’t publish anything. I cannot write on demand.

4: Taking pictures (of others and nature) – Similar to writing, I began taking photo’s when I was a child. Thanks to my lovely mother, my first camera was a Kodak Ektralite (do you remember those?) that you fed the film into and would later have developed at your local pharmacy. Many moons later, I have taken a course with Shaw Academy and have a considerably basic (cheap) DSLR which I mainly use to continue learning with. I LOVE it and, to date, folks seem to really like my work! For me, it's about creating longlasting memories and, again, it's something I find really calming.

5: Music – I imagine I have talked about this subject way too much across my blog but, it is what it is, I LOVE music and always feel grateful for it. At the time of writing this post, I’m listening to Tevin Campbell’s album titled I’m Ready on repeat! JOY!

6: Freshly painted nails! - I don’t like my hands much. The palms are always dry (they could likely grate cheese!) and they look quite old, to me. However, slap a bit of nail polish on them and they look alright, lol... I think neatly painted nails can make all the difference in how a person chooses to interact or behave in general. When my hands look (fairly) decent I'm less conscious about the 'state' of them and have no problem with them being seen. Yes, it's that deep! LOL!

7: Love – please tell me that you know you are loved and that you realise the wonderful impact your love has on others? Love is, in my opinion, the most powerful and moving emotion of all the feelings we are blessed to experience. My struggle with it can be super real at times, but, I believe in love and I allow myself to both receive and give love because I know without it this world would be filled with endless doom. It’s love that is ultimately the remedy for everything. Think on that for a moment…

Are you smiling right now? What makes you smile? 😊

Charley x

8 THINGS TO DO BEFORE JULY!

So, regardless of what the future may 'look' like, personally, I think it’s essential that (if we have not already begun to do so) we start to put certain things in place now for the months ahead and, God willing, the new year! Having a lot of time on our hands and/or having to be at home provides us with such a great opportunity to put ourselves in a position to thrive in ways we haven’t done or better than we currently are...

1) Revise your self-maintenance routine. Make sure you are taking great care of yourself, if you can, to be (and feel) at your best as often as possible. This will give you the energy and positive vibe you need to stay motivated and proactive in pursuit of your goals. When my skin feels silky soft and has a healthy glow I instantly feel a lot more confident and upbeat; somehow I am spurred on even further to achieve my goals!

TIP: keep your routine simple but effective. Whether it's daily or once a week, fortnightly or monthly, it shouldn't feel like a chore.

2) Start learning something new and stay dedicated to completing it. Doing so will have you feeling great about yourself and it could be the key to unlocking that door you’ve been trying to open. One of the things I have chosen to learn is Calligraphy! An old skill that I am going to reboot is radio broadcasting and there's so much I can learn using free online resources. Amazing!!

TIP: Discover new interests by searching your current likes via Google. Random things may pop up that you haven't considered trying before.

3) Pick a few events to attend (an online launch, webinar, an upcoming Masterclass, etc.) – register early, do some research to help you participate and make sure you show up (on time) eager to share not just take.

4) Create your summer capsule wardrobe – let go of everything that is worn, doesn’t fit, that you know you’ll never wear or that you dislike and keep the pieces you really enjoy wearing and the seasonal items which can be mixed and matched together.

TIP: You can also start creating your autumn and/or winter capsule wardrobe (s) using the same method and if your local charity shops have shut down, do an online search for your local clothing bank where you can safely drop off any unwanted clothes.

5) Update your phone book. You may have contacts whom you never call/message, who don’t call/message you, that should no longer take up your storage. It might be time to develop new connections if you find that the current ones always ignore your efforts to communicate or vice versa. Or, you may realise you have numbers for those you've been missing! Give them that long-overdue call! Reconnect and get back on track with each other.

6) Tidy up your social media profiles – do they portray you in the right way? Is there any old content that represents you negatively? Might you have information that is dated? An overhaul could be just what your accounts need to perform better depending on what you want to gain from using them. 

TIP: Follow Ayaz Aftab Hussain for tips on how to get the best from your social media accounts.

7) Evaluate your relationships and make improvements. Who is important to you? Do they know how you feel? When did you last speak with them? Do you want to spend time with them in the near future? Be clear about your intentions, with reasons and be authentic. It’s so important that you know why you have certain people in your life, what their roles are and that you both know where you stand with each other.

8) Make a promise to yourself and commit to it – this can be personal or professional, however, it would be great if it were something that requires you to push forward! Once declared, put all of the necessary bits and bobs in place to hold yourself accountable so that you see it through. E.G. "regardless of any obstacles, I PROMISE MYSELF to refurbish the spare room in my house before the year ends so I can finally have loved ones stay over when the opportunity arises."

SUMMARY: Do yourself a favour by taking an honest look at who and where you are right now. Identify the areas of your life where there is room for development! Career, love, friendships, family connections, personal achievements, etc., and start ticking things off your list!

No matter what, if nothing else, we will do ourselves a solid by trying to stay positive during this time and beyond. I hope you are safe and well, having fun exploring new and exciting things, able to check in with your loved ones via video calls and enjoying nature where possible. 

What changes have you made/will you make as a result of the current times?

God bless, 

Charley x

UTILIZE YOUR SKILLS

When lockdown began I felt a little concerned about the restrictions because they were not entirely clear and there seemed to be (and still does seem to be, at the time of publishing this post) no end in sight. I wasn’t worried about anything as such, in terms of having to stay at home (despite having a neighbour who deliberately disturbs the peace every night and into the early hours of each morning), albeit I'm now at the point where I'm itching to get out and about without the need for social distancing and masks. But, I have had moments of wondering if I'd be able to carry on being productive and assertive. I also thought about how unruly my hair, eyebrows and general self-care would be by the end of it, lol! Have you felt like this? I mean, I'm laughing as I type, but, it's a serious matter. Real talk!

If you know me personally you’ll know that cleanliness, smelling and looking good, being healthy, having clear skin, good eyebrows, my hair on point; decent overall hygiene, are things that I pride myself on. I have been determined to not allow anything to slip and fortunately, I'm managing everything quite well. I did a Beauty and Nails course moons ago (thanks to The Prince’s Trust) which has been very useful during my quarantine and I do find it fairly easy to commit to certain healthy choices so, that department hasn't been much of an issue either…

However, I'm not sure if I will continue to pay to have certain 'beauty' treatments done once the lockdown is over. At the time of writing this post, I haven't made any decisions regarding my eyebrows (ha-ha! I'm not that good with them so, I think they will always require professional taming) but, I intend to look after my hair myself until I am ready to chop it all off. No more paying to have somebody do for me what I can now do for myself and do well enough! Even when it comes to things like going out for meals, etc. I don’t know if that will be something I do again. Not only have I enjoyed preparing and cooking my own meals, but I've also not had any concerns about how the food is being handled! This is such a strange time... As the saying goes, I’ll just have to wait and see. Life after lockdown/the pandemic will certainly be interesting!

One thing that being in quarantine has done for me (and maybe for you too) is that it made me realise that I am capable of so much more than I think and give myself credit for. There's plenty I can do for myself. In fact, I’ve realised there’s quite a bit I’d like to learn, get better with, or start practising much more. I think my post quarantine life will look quite different from the life I lived before.

What about you? Is there anything you have decided you’ll change or implement once this horrid season ends?

Charley x

TATTOOS IN HIDDEN PLACES...

Recently (and I’m not entirely sure why) I looked at my tattoos and studied each one. Initially, I was trying to decide whether they needed to be ‘brought back to life’ or not. But after a little while, I found myself reminiscing on the meaning of each one.

At the age of 18 (1998 - College), I chose to get inked and it was quite a big deal back then. 2 of my friends at the time were also super keen to be tattooed, however, we knew that our parents would be furious with us. Nonetheless, we saved up our allowance and had every intention of going through with the carefully planned “Tattoo Adventure”.

Buzzing, literally giggling and dancing as we made our way from College to the tattooist in Forest Gate, East London, we arrived at the small shop adjacent to a hair salon and instantly felt panicked! It would be a while before choosing which one of us would go first. One of my friends did (she chose to have a butterfly tattooed on one of her breasts), I was second and the third bailed! LOL! I decided on, what I felt at the time, was a bold choice (albeit not as bold as my friend with the butterfly)...

At the top of my right arm, I have a dolphin leaping through the sun, which I chose from a collection of designs at the shop. I was SO in love with it and use to look at it almost all the time. It made me feel happy, energised, confident, hopeful, at peace and motivated. Why? For me, it represented my lust for adventure, my fascination with dolphins (not the pink ones, lol) and my dream to live somewhere sunny, remote, close to the water and peaceful. I still feel this way about it, but, it’s fading slightly so I may have it redone at some point.

It wasn’t until I turned 23 or 24 that I invested in my second body art. This one was to be designed by my boyfriend at the time. An incredible dancer of Nigerian heritage who was shy, but charismatic and impressionable, but not somebody who was ever in your face, soft-spoken but firm when he needed to be, a great cook, always a lot of fun and he had the most calming nature. With both of us being performers and creators, to say that our love for the arts was on another level didn’t even come close to how we felt about the industry. Randomly, we also became obsessed with Adidas and it was quite intense, LOL!!

I wanted a tattoo that would represent my relationship with the arts and my desire to stick with it while also wanting to be free of all the ‘drama’ (no pun intended) that came (and still comes) with it. He created his own version of the comedy and tragedy masks attached to a chain held by a hand in a closed fist which was spot on! It took over 20 minutes for the tattooist (the same one in Forest Gate) to finish inking my lower back. I was dripping the world of sweat, but, when it was done, I instantly felt empowered. It is my least favourite tattoo whenever I put on weight (sigh) however, the representation and feeling when I look at it are the same.

FYI: These were the clearest pics I could snap myself of the tattoos below...

On the back of my neck, I have a small tattoo which took about 5 minutes to ink of a heart with an upside-down music note. My love for music has been apparent since I was a child. Music is freedom for me and always will be. It is my joy, my pick-me-up, my answers, my redirection, my release, my mood shake, my wake-up call, my dose of real talk, my spring clean backdrop, my sanity. Music is my go-to for everything. Put a feel-good riddim on, especially a tune from the ’90s, and I am a different woman with moves nobody knew existed. LOL!

“Defective stars”. This is what I asked for when I walked into an unfamiliar tattoo shop one day sometime between 2006 and 2007 when I was struggling emotionally and mentally; I have no clear memory of the whole tattoo experience, but I do recall that the guy was in a rush and it actually worked in my favour. The 3 stars are on the inside of my left wrist and they serve as a reminder of my strength and resilience during a time when I felt lost, vulnerable and somewhat disconnected from myself and then having taken back my power by choosing to fight through my demons; I was determined to not give up on myself and I had to start by quitting the (bad) habits that were holding me back. It still helps today when I look at the design and am reminded of that time and what I have overcome. They are beginning to fade so, I'd definitely like to have them redone.

My imperfect rose is a symbol of pain and love. Tattooed on the outside corner of my left hand, it serves up a daily dose of fierce determination in memory of my favourite uncle who was a friend and like a father to me. He passed away in 2007 (I had the tattoo done sometime after, possibly a couple of years later, I'm not sure) and I miss him more than I know how to articulate. The rose is a comfort to me and I intend to have it restored.

Five tattoos, four of which are often hidden (by default clothing choices), each of them with me permanently and, so far, since 1998, I have no regrets about that.

Do you have a tattoo story?

Charley x

YOUR QUARANTINE, YOUR CHOICE!

We had the world of information shoved at us and too many with ‘advice’ and 'suggestions' on what self-isolation would mean, how it may potentially impact us and what we should and/or should not do during the lockdown. At one point (for a couple of days) I had to switch off the news, mute all notifications for social media and WhatsApp, delete email updates from subscriptions (all of which I delve into in small doses now) and just breathe. I started to read more books and write for my blog. I decided that I would create a daily to-do list, set myself weekly goals and maintain a routine. My aim was to ensure that, no matter what, I had things in place to help me focus on the positives and to encourage myself to remain hopeful.

For me, it is everything to be productive! I love waking up early to exercise, meditate, pray and reflect. This is something I have been committed to and have seen the benefits of during lockdown, especially as I've been able to exercise for a longer time in the mornings and for a second time in the afternoons. Twice daily workouts have been my absolute joy!

Some of my goals might not seem that big of a deal to you, or they may shock you based on how you view me, but, I am deeply proud of myself for sticking with all that I put in place to keep myself healthy – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It isn’t ever a walk in the park but, it is so necessary…

However, there is NO one-size-fits-all. It really is a case of each to their (survival) own. There is no right or wrong with your approach to handling this intensely uncertain chapter in our lives. If all you manage each day is a stretch, great. If you only open your eyes and yawn but stay in bed, great! Whatever you feel capable of doing daily is fine. No two people are the same, so, nobody should expect that everybody is able to navigate their way through this unprecedented season in the same way. We are each so different from one another. It’s okay to do nothing and it is also okay to do everything. 

Personally, I need to be busy albeit with a clear purpose.

Here are some things I am proud of having achieved during the lockdown: mould treatment in a few areas of my home, braiding my own hair (from scratch) for the very first time using Xpressions, writing more for the blog, taking my own photographs for each blog post, no retaliation towards nuisance neighbours (disturbing the peace almost religiously with their unnecessary noises – when this happens I cannot do anything. I can’t read, focus on writing, watch TV, or meditate. I just have to sit and wait for the horrid, intrusive sounds to end), maintaining cleanliness throughout my place (not once have I let dishes or any mess pile up), decluttered every room, made a banana loaf (which I had not done before but had always wanted to do and it was SO good), starting a new creative venture (just for fun) and making my own smoothies (something I had not bothered to do in the past) thanks to Vitamer!

Often, it really is about the simple things in life. I have truly felt relaxed most days, positive, upbeat, happy, calm, excited for each day. Despite the occasional tough battle with anxiety (which has sometimes prevented me from going outdoors), I am not worried about life after lockdown. I know for a fact that I have my daily routine to thank for that as well as almighty God! All of the above said if I had been feeling down, unmotivated, and as though I just cannot be bothered with anything, this would also be okay because, I am not perfect and this is a new, shocking situation none of us saw coming!

How are you handling the lockdown/quarantine and how do you feel about returning to (hopefully a better) normality?

Charley x

THINGS TO WATCH IN ISOLATION!

I am so thankful for all the amazing talents in the world who contribute to the Entertainment industry. If not for the many projects available via Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+, YouTube, (including IGTV) and the rest, there would be little in the way of positive distractions at this time.

I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to watch almost everything on my watch list and wanted to share with you some of the ones I've loved! Be sure to click on each title for more info. In no order of significance…

DISNEY+

Ruby Bridges (factual, historical and empowering)

NETFLIX

Self-Made (based on true events, funny, inspiring)
Coffee and Kareem (super talented cast, great movie)

The Town (emotional rollercoaster fusing love and crime)

Money Heist (a fast, intense political thrill set in Spain!)

The Sun Is Also a Star (a teen romance with some thought-provoking narration and a brilliant soundtrack)
Miracle in Cell No. 7 (one that will tug at the heartstrings. It literally brought me to tears; actual weeping!)
Extraction (starring 'Mr Too Hot' aka Chris Hemsworth, this action-thriller is a mix of adventure, comedy and a lot of gore and I LOVED it!!)

T.V.

Made in Chelsea (my not so guilty 'reality tv' pleasure since 2011 - it follows the lives of wealthy individuals in their 20s and early 30s who live in West London and travel to the most beautiful locations around the world). Noughts + Crosses (a well-performed story about a young couple who fight to be together while living in a state divided by colour. It's very powerful!)

In all honesty, I rarely watch television. I occasionally watch Good Morning Britain just to keep up to date with important world events, but, apart from the titles mentioned, I don't watch much else. I find T.V. quite boring these days.

AMAZON PRIME

Hidden Figures (true story, powerful performances, motivational movie)

An Angel Has Fallen (following on from London Has Fallen (2016) and Olympus Has Fallen (2013) this is another gripping action movie!)

YOUTUBE

The Michalaks - mini-films produced by the head of the household, Stefan, which strike an amazing balance between capturing everyday shenanigans and cinematic scenes that serve to stir up the emotions of each viewer in the best possible way. This family is beyond endearing. I have such a soft spot for them and have been a subscriber to their channel for years before the couple had children! Their content is stunning and often insightful, real talk!

Which movies, programmes, projects, music artists, or youtube channels are you currently loving?

Stay home, keep safe. A better version of life (but still as we know it) is just around the corner!

Charley x