Disclaimer: this is one black person's reality and that black person is me. This may, or may not be, the experience of other black people. The below might not be a true depiction of the experiences had by every black individual worldwide, however, it is a true account of MY experiences (from as early as 1997). Some of these situations have been isolated, others have been shared with me, or I have witnessed such oppression of a fellow black. Mostly in a work environment where the majority have been white and the minority black. That said, I am aware that some of the statements are applicable to various types of people and I am also greatly aware that not every white person (nor every other race for that matter) has a deeply ingrained hatred for those who are black.
Speak and be ill-judged.
Stay silent and be ill-judged.
Maintain your privacy and be thought of as rude.
Give up your privacy and be thought of as arrogant.
Show passion (or just a flicker of emotion) and be labelled 'aggressive'.
You are invisible unless, of course, your 'services' are required.
If they stare at you, know that they are simply fascinated which, of course, is a compliment.
If they catch you staring at them, know that you may be arrested because your stare is 'threatening'.
You will be mocked for your confidence.
You will have your strengths used against you.
You will have your morals and beliefs patronized.
You will be made to feel as though your skills and capabilities are not enough.
Belittled much?
The desire is to have you fear them and love them at the same time; to respect them whilst taking their lack of respect for you with a pinch of "no worries".
Be a performing monkey.
Having a good day? Be a performing monkey.
Having a stressful day? Be a performing monkey.
100% well? Be a performing monkey.
Visibly sick? Be a performing monkey.
You are their puppet and you will perform on-demand.
Anything that looks like they're being caring and considerate is, in fact, a calculated move towards their win and your downfall. Your brilliance is not welcome where they, themselves, are trying to excel. Actually, let's be real, it isn't welcome at all...
Be your authentic self and be told: "you're too much".
Keep yourself to yourself and be thought of as a 'shady character'.
Where the hell is the win?!?
You are black so, by default, you are a hostile person and this is something you cannot dispute whether there is just one, or a few (irrespective of any supporting evidence), who have openly shared that this is their feeling about you despite them having no problem being in your company time and time again complete with fake smiles, fake conversation, fake laughter, fake warmth, fake everything because their so-called perception replaces all reality.
Be physically expressive, with hand gestures etc., when excitedly disclosing something and be labelled 'aggressive'. Breathe or, better still, just exist, and be labelled 'aggressive'.
You are invisible unless, of course, your 'services' are required.
If they stare at you, know that they are simply fascinated which, of course, is a compliment.
If they catch you staring at them, know that you may be arrested because your stare is 'threatening'.
Accept jibes as banter.
Accept passive aggression as affection.
Accept lies being told about you as the liars very 'valid perception' of you.
Accept that being at the bottom of every food chain is your exclusive norm.
Accept that most, for no reason that can be justified, will be against you as per their norm.
Accept that whatever they say about you will always be true because their words are gospel.
Accept that most, for no reason that can be justified, will be against you as per their norm.
Accept that whatever they say about you will always be true because their words are gospel.
Accept that you will always be the one in the wrong and this is an 'opportunity' for you to learn.
Accept that, unless you have written confirmation, it wasn't said (only when what was said could work in your favour, of course).
Don't smile (allowing your face to fall as it naturally does) and be thought of as cold.
Force a smile (because nobody's face wears a natural permanent smile) and be thought of as intense.
Force a smile (because nobody's face wears a natural permanent smile) and be thought of as intense.
You will be mocked for your confidence.
You will have your strengths used against you.
You will have your morals and beliefs patronized.
You will be made to feel as though your skills and capabilities are not enough.
Belittled much?
The desire is to have you fear them and love them at the same time; to respect them whilst taking their lack of respect for you with a pinch of "no worries".
Be a performing monkey.
Having a good day? Be a performing monkey.
Having a stressful day? Be a performing monkey.
100% well? Be a performing monkey.
Visibly sick? Be a performing monkey.
You are their puppet and you will perform on-demand.
Anything that looks like they're being caring and considerate is, in fact, a calculated move towards their win and your downfall. Your brilliance is not welcome where they, themselves, are trying to excel. Actually, let's be real, it isn't welcome at all...
Share an opinion and offend the entire world.
Sit on your opinions and offend the community.
Switch your feelings off and be labelled a 'problem'.Be your authentic self and be told: "you're too much".
Keep yourself to yourself and be thought of as a 'shady character'.
Where the hell is the win?!?
Neglect work to stand with the gossips (pretending to be about their noise) just so you're not regarded as one who thinks they're 'too nice' to mingle with such people and be called "difficult" by your superiors. Choose to focus on work (because you genuinely want to progress) instead of joining the gossip crew and they will call you "ignorant".
You are the Black Elephant in the room. They invite you in based on tokenism and make it abundantly clear that, not only do they not really want you there, when it suits them, they can and will discard you usually over a fabricated allegation that everybody else will believe because black is the colour of guilt.
You are the Black Elephant in the room. They invite you in based on tokenism and make it abundantly clear that, not only do they not really want you there, when it suits them, they can and will discard you usually over a fabricated allegation that everybody else will believe because black is the colour of guilt.
Assert yourself and be called "a bully".
Don't assert yourself and be called "a bully".
If you are one who is direct you might be labelled "a bully".
If you are one who is direct you might be labelled "a bully".
Be humble but also cautious and risk being labelled a "bully".
FYI: the word bully means -
a person who habitually seeks to harm those they see as vulnerable.
Read that FYI again!
FYI: the word bully means -
a person who habitually seeks to harm those they see as vulnerable.
Read that FYI again!
You do not have options.
You do not have permission to choose between "yes" and "no".
You do what they want you to do as and when they want you to do it.
You are not entitled to feel, according to that which comes naturally, unless instructed to and, even then, those feelings are on loan!
Expect to be tested daily.
You do not have permission to choose between "yes" and "no".
You do what they want you to do as and when they want you to do it.
You are not entitled to feel, according to that which comes naturally, unless instructed to and, even then, those feelings are on loan!
Expect to be tested daily.
Expect to be disrespected.
Expect to have your character challenged.
Expect to have your personality questioned.
Expect to be wrongly perceived and treated accordingly.
Expect to have the person you are tarnished, stained and ripped to shreds.
Expect to have your buttons pushed in a bid to have you fit the 'angry black woman' stereotype only to then have your organic reaction to being goaded used against you!
Expect to have your buttons pushed in a bid to have you fit the 'angry black woman' stereotype only to then have your organic reaction to being goaded used against you!
Do not expect to be understood. Ever.
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I do not need you to agree nor disagree. Just try to understand... Being a black person is an unnecessary struggle, every damn day! YES, freedom is real but, so is (modern-day) slavery, racism, racial profiling, persecution, race-related micromanagement (and the rest) in a bid to control and intimidate, etc. Why? Fear? I'm sick of it; I am SO sick of being ill targeted simply because I am a CONFIDENT and COMPETENT BLACK WOMAN!
....................................................................................................................................................
- taken from the very well written book titled Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge - "We've listened to our socially conservative parents and educated ourselves up to our eyeballs. We've kept our gripes to ourselves and changed our appearance, names, accents and dress in order to fit the status quo. We have bitten our tongues, exercised safe judgement and tiptoed around white feelings in an effort to not rock the boat. We've been tolerant up to the point of not even mentioning race, lest we're accused of playing the race card".
PREVIOUS POST: 6 Things to do Before the Year Ends!
I do not need you to agree nor disagree. Just try to understand... Being a black person is an unnecessary struggle, every damn day! YES, freedom is real but, so is (modern-day) slavery, racism, racial profiling, persecution, race-related micromanagement (and the rest) in a bid to control and intimidate, etc. Why? Fear? I'm sick of it; I am SO sick of being ill targeted simply because I am a CONFIDENT and COMPETENT BLACK WOMAN!
....................................................................................................................................................
- taken from the very well written book titled Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge - "We've listened to our socially conservative parents and educated ourselves up to our eyeballs. We've kept our gripes to ourselves and changed our appearance, names, accents and dress in order to fit the status quo. We have bitten our tongues, exercised safe judgement and tiptoed around white feelings in an effort to not rock the boat. We've been tolerant up to the point of not even mentioning race, lest we're accused of playing the race card".
PREVIOUS POST: 6 Things to do Before the Year Ends!