Although some believe being alone automatically equals loneliness, I've found the opposite to be true for me. Throughout my teens and into my early thirties, I often felt lonely, overlooked, excluded and uneasy, despite being surrounded by 'friends' and people. In reality, it was noise, chaos, repeated let-downs, deliberate conflict, obligations born from misplaced loyalties, and holes in my pockets. Not exactly a recipe for peace.
Walking away from people whose behaviour is narcissistic and harmful has been incredibly empowering. Likewise, by choosing to decline work that I know would drain me mentally and emotionally, regardless of the pay, I've nurtured a much calmer nervous system. Now that I'm in my 40s, I feel more content, healthier, and far more aligned with myself. And choosing to remain single and abstinent, while focusing on self-love, personal development and my career goals, has also allowed me to strengthen my relationship with myself and reassess the boundaries I set with others.
Our decisions impact our health. Where we live, how we live, the company we keep (friends and family), who we speak to and how we speak with them, what we eat, the events we attend, the places we travel to, the people we date and/or have intimate contact with, what we wear, the music we listen to, the books we read, the online content we consume, what we choose to tolerate and/or refuse, and even the type of pet we have. All of these things affect our state of mind and well-being.
Experience has taught me that maintaining positive intentions for both yourself and others, while respecting the choices people make for their own lives, is essential for creating a balanced and fulfilling life of your own.
Regularly assessing your behaviour and making the necessary changes can greatly enhance how you feel each day and, in turn, how you interact with others. We can only thrive to the extent that the life and lifestyle we cultivate allow us to.
Choose better. Do better. Be better.