Thursday, 31 December 2015


When certain folks hear the word "investment" they automatically think of money however, to invest in anything starts with a state of mind and if you're one who's blessed with a sound mentality, you know that to use your mind doesn't cost a penny.

What did you hope to achieve in 2015?
What steps did you take to succeed in 2015?
What things, or people did you focus on and give your time and energy to in 2015?
What value did you place on yourself, your life, dreams and those true to you in 2015?
What did you tweet in the run up to New Years Eve 2015?

It can be "so hard" to get up every day and move with consistency yet we know 
that consistency pays.
It can be "so hard" to get up every day and go forward with enthusiasm yet we know that enthusiasm pays.
It can be "so hard" to stay motivated by the desire to achieve our goals yet we know that motivation pays.
It can be "so, so hard" to cut from our circle those who are not of a similar mindset, yet we know that to surround ourselves with go-getter's can pay very well.

Have you invested in your 2016?
Have you cleared the cobwebs from the closet that is your life?
Have you taken time to reflect, to assess who you are and the choices you've made?
Have you noted the lessons given during the last 12 months, or will you ignore them?
Have you decided that you will finally work on removing those ill traits and habits?
Have you allowed room for a significant amount of change?

If you have spent the last 5 years of your life being involved with all that continues to keep you in the same spot, or hold you back, now is The Time to get the realest you have ever been with yourself! Get rid of all that you know does not serve you well so you can see the success which belongs to you.

You are unique
You are skilled
You are capable
You are talented
You are deserving
You are so worth it
You CAN do and be better!

If you haven't already done so, GO AND INVEST IN YOUR 2016, I dare you!!
Before you know it, it'll be January 2017...

Images above: Google
Image below: Shining Concept, edited by C Jai
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post! x
CHECK OUT my previous post: Robin's Sexual Hood
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Thursday, 17 December 2015


If the Stratford East version of Robin Hood is anything to go by, modern day panto is no longer for, nor all about the children. Unnecessarily oversaturated with suggestive references such as, "enter my back passage" and "you're such a tease" {the latter directly aimed at a young audience member, no less}, with suggestive body language {sometimes using relatable instruments} to further encourage the said terms, I sat and watched 2 hours of adults in bright yet fairly plain and simple costumes, against the backdrop of an okay set design, spouting more lewd one liners than actually telling any sort of story much less that of the classic it claimed for its title.

With incest also a feature {a would-be King wanting to marry his niece}, sexuality, intimate descriptives and the alike continued to be the distasteful themes, if you will, that ran throughout the slightly odd farce, with one female cast member being directed to {very obviously} measure the inside leg of a fellow {male} actor, giving the audience a 'knowing' look following a glance at his groin area. Like the rest of these moments in the pantomime, there was no need for it! None at all - unless perhaps performing to a sex obsessed ADULTS ONLY audience!

The character of Robin Hood was played by Oliver Wellington who delivered quite a forgettable yet forceful performance. In an outfit more fitting for an actor cast in a supporting role, Oliver appeared to not know if he was cast as himself, or the Robin Hood... Likewise, Nadia Albina who played Marion was cute, adorable and sang her heart out however, she was so over the top with everything... I literally wanted to step on stage, hug her and whisper, "darling, it's okay, take a breath and chill". Performing alongside such balanced; seasoned actors, who each delivered a fab performance, such as Derek Elroy and Ashley Joseph, Oliver and Nadia stood out, albeit with great energy, for all of the wrong reasons.

While many of you might say, "backside, Char, it's a flipping panto, relax!", it is a production primarily for children and so I do not understand why it was of such a blatant sexual nature and in some areas so slack - people seen moving about in the wings, an obvious and randomly planted man in a green jumpsuit pressed hard against a green {set design} tree, {supposedly camouflaged} only to suddenly pop an arm out with a squirrel on his hand which didn't seem to be of any relevance to the scene in which this was happening, plus he looked so awkward. Although that particular randomness had nothing on the changing of set once out of the black lighting state - the most mind boggling thing {to me}. Good grief!! I just think, overall, it was a little too slapdash because, even though, to a degree, panto is usually camp, laid back and lots of fun - the mystery of it all should still be upheld; it should feel as though you have been transported into another world. The 'puppet strings', so to speak, should not be seen and you should feel entirely comfortable watching.

The youth of today, INCLUDING those under the age of 13, are so clued up and if not they will most likely ask questions, in which case YOU, the so-called grown up, will have to explain. How do you tell a child what was meant by the man in a woman's dress who bent over and referenced his back passage, more than once, to the other man who was creeping up behind him? How do you explain the significance; the reason for it and why it might be funny to some adults? How do you explain why it seems to be that the King can marry his niece? Answers need not be sent in...

What was good?
Our seats - stalls C13-15
Collectively, a strong cast
Clapping and singing along
All of the {upbeat} music and songs
The non sex related comedy moments

What was amazing?
Ashley Campbell is a beautifully skilled talent who I thoroughly enjoy watching. He is mesmerising as an actor with a ridiculously awesome vocal range and ability, his dance skills are so on point and his presence on stage as King Richard {and other roles in the panto} calls for all eyes to be on him. The sensational legend that is Michael Bertenshaw, no matter how vulgar he was at times, is such a formidable talent! The man is unquestionably one of the most brilliant performers I've seen and, bar the obvious within this particular production, I cannot fault him in his role as Prince John.

However, the one who completely stole the show, for me, was a remarkable talent I had not witnessed before - Geraint Rhys Edwards. This young man is a dream to watch. In the role of Tuck and others he demonstrated the world of versatility. A strong vocalist, smooth dancer, trumpet player and with such detailed facial expressions, mannerisms etc he was a force to be reckoned with in each of his scenes. Geraint is flawless and therefore captivating. From start to finish, he remained consistent, maintained his energy, was sharp and engaging. I honestly hope to see this man across my TV screen, in films and then some in the not too distant future. He is an absolute gem of a talent.

Minus the sexual innuendos and being able to see the stage hands, some of the set changes etc which, quite frankly, spoils the 'magic' of it all, this was a funny, charming and enjoyable panto at Theatre Royal; Stratford East!

Robin Hood | 020 8534 0310
Matinee and evening performances until 23rd January 2016

Photo credits: Robert Day, TRSE
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CHECK OUT my previous post: The Festive Monster
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Wednesday, 2 December 2015


It's a wrap, quite literally! A blink ago it was April 2015 and I was living the most amazing week of my life in Malta with my good friend Caroline Odogwu and now the 1st of January 2016 is but a breath away... Honestly, how and why does it seem to be that once you reach your mid 20s the years race by without a beat? Or, is that just me?

Once Halloween is in full swing almost everyone, wherever they may be in the world, is bang on the festive season. Shops quickly stock their shelves with all things sparkly and brightly coloured, any man with a beer belly, a scruffy beard and a bit of grit in their voice suddenly wants to don a santa costume and assume the role of Mr Claus in a bid to make some extra cash and the majority of the rest start running around to prepare for that 'all important' date - Christmas Day, 25th December!

Far from being a Scrooge, at the time of writing this post, I'm one of those who takes no part in the festivities; I am not one to celebrate any seasonal fad although I fully appreciate and respect the choice of others. I'm just not about any of it, to the point where I just about celebrate my birthday! I'm so done with trying to organise, at my own expense, what is often a hugely embarrassing fail instead of a cheery function where I celebrate being blessed to see another year... *sigh*

Despite my religious upbringing and beliefs, I honestly have no idea what Christmas is representative of anymore. I once believed it was the day Jesus was born {there is no mention of the specific date of his birthday in any bible that I have read}, I then thought that it was to be a time of spiritual focus and thanks for our blessings from God/Jesus {however, there are one too many who indulge that openly state they do not believe in Christ} and so, I now feel that perhaps it's simply a reason to get the whole family together and, if only once every year, enjoy one another's company over a ridiculously large feast, drinks and the exchange of several gifts which is where my confusion sparks up again....

If for the birth of Jesus, if for having a religious belief, or if just a time to be with loved ones, why do some people spend so much money on the whole thing? Especially when, between January and October, near enough every year, lots of people are seen ranting about being broke across various social media platforms?

The Christmas break/holiday, to me, is for children. It's a time to really engage them in all things family; to bond with them and spend a significant amount of time connecting with them, enjoying their little company and having them gain a real understanding of just how loved and valued they are. Such doesn't cost a penny for real love cannot be bought, right?

I'm not a parent however, if I was, I'd not teach/show my child/children that Christmas is all about going broke for no good reason which then leads to stress! How is that something to be celebrated? From the decorations to the gifts, all of the food and drinks, I firmly believe it's money wasted for one day {nobody actually celebrates the entire 12 days in the same way they do the first} which could be any day of the week that families {choose to} spend together. All of the above said, I might one day be all about the month of December! Who knows?

'Family Sunday' {which is now 'Family Any Day That Our Schedules Do Not Clash'} has been a thing with my own family since forever. We have a hearty home cooked meal, music in the background, a few board games played and then a couple of movies to finish the evening/night. No unnecessarily expensive gifts exchanged, no horrid looking decorations flung about the house and nobody talking about how much money they've spent for the one day of 'celebration' which has now left them with holes in their pockets.

If love is not boastful, or proud why do so many look for physical symbols to represent what is felt in their heart? Memories shared are the best gifts you can ever give to someone. Think about that... When all's said and done, it's the memory that will bring you the most joy, comfort, strength and peace. Such is the way for me when I think of my loved ones who are no longer alive - Jenna, Sherelle, Uncle Fabian, Joe, Gran-Boy and several others....

Again, I'm no Scrooge, ha-ha, I'm really not. I just don't understand frivolous spending especially when it seems to be more about following the crowd as opposed to actually being about the supposed meaning; the original reason for a certain occasion. That said, in this day and age, we'd do well to save as much of our pennies as possible, real talk!

A gift can be anything and, in any case, it need not be so expensive... Give your time, call someone and offer them comfort during their difficulties, give that special person in your life a long and loving hug and pamper them for the day; cater to their needs, invite someone round for a cuppa and a few card games, make someone a CD of their fave music, put together a montage of some pictures from 'back in the day' and frame it.... Think outside the {money} box.

I genuinely wish every person in the world the happiest month of December {2015} and hope, very much, that you each have a wonderful New Year. Always start {from where you are right now} as you mean to go. Never become a sheep, the role of Shepherd is yours for the taking.

However you choose to spend the 25th of December, 
may you have the absolute time of your life, folks! x

Images taken from Google, except for the Malta photo
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Friday, 6 November 2015


Whenever asked the questions, "what are you afraid of?" and "what scares you?", with a very matter of fact tone, I would always answer with, "nothing"... {I was once super scared of spiders but, I can deal with those monsters now, lol...} However, recently I did experience fear.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with fibroids after experiencing symptoms as of 2007. It would be 8 years before I'd have some sort of breakthrough with treatment, or a surgical option to remove the largest and most troublesome.

On Sunday 25th October 2015, having done what I felt was the necessary prep, I travelled to Benenden hospital in Kent. I was to have yet another blood test that same afternoon and then further prepare myself for the hysterectomy operation. I felt confident, ready; fearless and there was no going back. In a matter of hours, on Monday 26th October 2015, I would be fibroid free. Having my mother with me for support, alongside my brother, was comforting although at that point I didn't realise just how much I would need them both.

On Sunday afternoon I was given a blood test and told the results would not be with me until the following morning. I was frustrated by this as I had originally been informed that I'd have the results that same evening to confirm whether or not my haemoglobin levels would allow for the op to go ahead. Albeit slightly annoyed at having to wait, I still felt okay about everything. Suffice to say, I never saw all that was to follow panning out the way that it did...

After the blood test, once at the hospital lodge, as we were checking into our rooms I suddenly felt my chest tighten, my temperature began to rise, hands shaking, head throbbing and a real struggle to breathe... DAMMIT! My anxiety has gone into overdrive and I am now having a panic attack!! Of all the horrid things anyone can feel, the grip of a panic attack is by far {my} worst! Tears streaming down my face, angry with myself; fuming at not being able to control what was happening in that very moment, I cried telling my brother, Ashley, "I want to go home". Fear had crept in from nowhere! Could I actually go through with the surgery?

The panic attack was awful, they always are. I started to experience anxiety and the attacks during my teens but, up to this day, I've no idea why... That said, they are less frequent nowadays.

After helping to calm me down, while we were all inside my room at the hospital lodge, my mother decided that we should get some air and my brother suggested we get something to eat. In that moment I realised I hadn't eaten since Friday lunch time, good grief!! Despite this, I didn't feel hungry but, I did have some food.

Later, being back at the hospital lodge {where I had the panic attack} felt a bit odd because, I was now quite comfortable and relaxed being there. "I'm okay", I thought. Once again I was ready for the operation in the morning. I said "goodbye" to my brother and after a catch up on Made in Chelsea, Empire {Series 2} and a comforting chat with a friend, I showered then went to bed. It would be 3 hours and 45 minutes until I woke up to do my exercises, shower again, get dressed and head to the hospital for surgery.

At 6:20am on the Monday my mother and I made our way to the hospital. We were the first {of the other patients and their relatives, or friends} to arrive. 7am, with the waiting area now full, we were all asked to make our way to another waiting area on the Garland Ward. Within less than 5 minutes I was called and shown to my hospital room. The staff were all so friendly and the hospital was exceptionally pristine all of which, ironically, made me feel uncomfortable.

Once inside the room, although spacious enough and ventilated, I felt the familiar pangs of anxiety begin to consume my entire body again and by the time the anesthetist and her team arrived I couldn't even speak so, my mother spoke for me... "She's never had this type of surgery before, she's never even given birth and so, the idea of having to undergo such a major operation is overwhelming for her".... With that, the anesthetist offered to have the surgeon {my consultant} speak with me about the long term implications of not going ahead with the surgery if that is what I was to decide. At this point I haven't yet been informed of my blood results so, I've no idea if my haemoglobin levels are where they need to be in order for the op to go ahead but, that doesn't even matter because, I am so past the point of freaking out that I think I might vomit all over everyone and the entire room! I feel as though the walls are closing in; the hospital room is now too busy for me {with 5 people in it} and I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE, FAST!!!

There's about 3 minutes between the anesthetist and her team leaving and the arrival of my surgeon. Despite me having calmed down a little, immediately he is able to sense how anxious I am and states with reassurance that, regardless of the decision I make, I shouldn't consider anything as being final. Although my haemoglobin levels were confirmed as being low, owing to me being anaemic, the fact is, thanks to a massive lifestyle change {to which I have been fully committed as of January 2015}, the troublesome fibroid has shrunk a little and with that my symptoms have improved big time! My quality of life is nowhere near as dire as it had been some years before and so, for now, I can avoid the surgical procedure which would see my stomach be cut open and the benign fibroid removed during a 3+ hour operation after which recovery can take up to 8 weeks, or longer, leaving me several side effects that I was not wanting to risk!!

I don't think I have ever let out such a mahoosive "sigh" of relief... It felt as though I had been holding my breath for about 2 weeks!!!! That said, for me, the ordeal wasn't over until my mother and I were on the train heading back home, real talk! Before my brother had left on Sunday night he told me not to worry about anything and to simply be certain of what it is I want to do. My mother reinforced this during our train journey back to London by saying, "at the end of the day, Charley, you're the only one who knows exactly what the fibroids feel like, how they affect you and of any changes to your health. Nobody can tell you what to do. It's up to you. No matter what, we will support you". She's right. My body, my health, my feelings, my life, my choice.

There were some people I had informed of the surgery; I had to make certain individuals aware of my 'new' situation. With my circumstances having now changed I initially felt bad for those who had expressed concern and worry for me. However, the words of support and encouragement from my mother, as mentioned above, was all it took for me to shake any ill feeling and to focus on the positives - for the first time in my 35 years {despite the fibroids} doctors have said I am healthy and fit owing to the changes I have made in my life! I am indeed feeling the best I have ever felt; I am without the more severe symptoms caused by fibroids {I've seen a gradual improvement since July 2015}and, right now, I do not need to undergo any operation. Fab times!!! It feels like Christmas has come early for me even though I don't celebrate it.

There's a chance I may need to have an op sometime in the future but, until then, it's all about maintaining my new lifestyle and with that I'll be able to live with the fibroids until a natural change in my hormones {once I reach a certain age, according to research}causes them to shrink completely. To say "I am blessed" doesn't come anywhere near close!! Thank you, Jah. I am so, so grateful for {my quality of} life.

I made small yet significant lifestyle changes that have seen the largest of my fibroids shrink and relieve near enough all of the horrid symptoms - less to NO JUNK food / drinks {and no dairy} plus daily exercise {1 hour each morning}. That's it! Literally!! It really is about the little things...

Mahoosive thanks to all of my loving and supportive family and friends. Each of you is massively appreciated. Albeit fearful of ever needing to have an operation, I'm so glad I have now learned to ask for and accept help when needed.


Fibroid related images taken from Google


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Friday, 16 October 2015


Of these 2 options, what is your preference: clean sex, or dirty sex? I'm not talking about choosing between your basic front crawl session, or a 'freaks-are-us behind closed doors' session!!! Let's go a little deeper than that... Excuse the pun!

Are you bothered about where the person you're about to lay down with has been before you? You should be on account of the fact that, by sleeping with them, you're about to be intimate with all of the people they have been with from whenever they first popped their cherry!

How do you feel about sex? Do you enjoy it? Is it not for you {for whatever reason}? Something you, if necessary, would proudly admit to want/need in your life? Could you do without it? How would you describe sex based on your own experiences? If one without any personal issues relating to intimacy, would you say, "I love it! It's great; such a euphoric feeling.. There's no way I would want a life without sex now that I know it"?

Imagine that the above statement is true of almost everyone. Now stop to consider that of those individuals, who might EASILY lay down with whoever {be that a stranger met on an evening out, their friend, colleague etc}, how many can first discuss, with their chosen sex-partner, any relevant information regarding their sexual history? Can you? Are you able to sit and talk with the person whom you are wanting to have sex with about the subject itself? In a consenting situation, there is always some sort of mutual build up in one way or another. As part of that journey between attraction and sexual desire, do you not see any room for asking the relevant questions so as to PROTECT YOURSELF? I think it is so important to seek out such an opportunity because, although the other person may lie, it is essential, I feel, that one is as comfortable as possible with the sexual past of the other individual and there are certain answers to a particular set of questions that, if given a false answer to, will naturally see a shift in body language! Fact!!!

See, here's the thing: talking about sex in the derogatory sense, or where a group of mates might see fun in slating previous sex partners, for example, is simply a wasted conversation about intimacy. While a few partially insulting jokes about past conquests may get the whole room laughing, I'd sooner converse in a way that will get my knowledge up! This will enable me to better protect my body and my health which, if negatively affected, could have a devastating long term effect on myself, my future partner and those around me.

One of the most vulnerable and subsequently uncomfortable situations you will ever volunteer for is one where you are semi nude, or completely naked, as you engage in sexual activity with somebody else. However, if in actual fact that is something you can do willingly and comfortably, surely you can talk about the subject with your intended sex partner as well as the relevant health professionals BEFOREHAND... Unless of course you are one who is all about "being in the moment" which, I might add, I don't believe is something one cannot control. Such control would be the choice/action of those who are conscientious with standards and self respect!

When was the last time you voluntarily attended a Sexual Health Screening at your local G.U.M Clinic {Genito-Urinary Medicine}? Have you ever had a check-up? Do you know what a G.U.M Clinic is and what they do? Do you know if you currently have an STI {sexually transmitted infection}? They don't all have symptoms! Do you carry an STI virus? Are you someone who caught something and dealt with it alone so as to avoid embarrassment, or from fear of seeing familiar faces at the clinic? Or, are you one who has regular check up's, whether you are active or not, to ensure you are taking care of yourself in the best way possible?

The last time I had a screening, I attended of my own accord, felt confident and at ease. My thoughts were, "it will always be better to be safe, on all accounts, than sorry so, this is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I feel proud to be one who is self aware and therefore careful".

If you have never had a Sexual Health Screening, you should. Especially if you are, or have ever been sexually active. The test {s} are painless, very straightforward, done quickly and are discreet. You've most likely had a cotton bud in your ear before, right? So, a swab is exactly that - a bud that may be gently rotated a few times in/around your genitalia. What about a blood test? Surely, you've experienced the tiny scratch of a needle on your arm, or leg in order for a Nurse/Doctor to take some of your blood? I am not one for needles AT ALL but, this is also a swift process that may be carried out as part of a Sexual Health screening. In a private room, with ONE healthcare professional, you have a chat, the tests are done and then you are on your way. Simple yet so important for your life!

There should be no shame in your sex game, folks - having "skills" in the bedroom is pointless if, with those skills, you are about to pass on an infection you do not even realise you're carrying, or you are to become the one to whom a virus is passed, causing not only a vicious outbreak {no doubt in/around your genital area} but, leaving you with something you will have to inform your future girlfriend/boyfriend of.

THINK BEFORE YOU GET CAUGHT UP! However many minutes of pleasure you may, or may not be about to have, is not worth months, or years of pain and with that the possibility of never being able to have sex again. Find your nearest Sexual Health Clinic and make sure you check-in for a screening!! ALWAYS BE SAFE!

Images taken from Google


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Thursday, 13 August 2015


Did you sing the title of this post? YAGGA!!! {insert giggle here}.

So, in January 2013 I was given an opportunity to host my own radio show. After 10 months I hung up my training boots only to return to radio, with the same show, on a different station, albeit for an even shorter period. Both times my departure was primarily due to being unwell however, partly to explore new opportunities. {Us creative types are super keen to taste the pies in which we, perhaps at times, have too many fingers}.

Now, despite no other {formal} training outside of my stints between 2013 and 2014, I'm all set to give radio another go for a third time and I am returning to where it all began, déjà vu FM!

The late DJ JOE GRIME, a good and very supportive friend of mine, was a long-standing ambassador and DJ for déjà. Being one who followed my blog, saw me host live events and had a nose in my other creative endeavours, Joe believed my voice and energy was suited to radio. Once he had cleared it with the station manager, Joe invited me to produce my own weekly show for which I booked some brilliant guests such as Adrian and Danielle from Mellow 9 Productions, Entrepreneur Junior Ogunyemi, Novelist Courttia Newland and former Hollyoaks turned Game of Thrones star Nathalie Emmanuel to name a few. I was always told that, "when ready", I could return.

Leaving déjà after 10 months was difficult {it had to be done mainly for health reasons} and taking the show to ITCH FM {there were no suitable slots at déjà on that occasion in 2014} was not easy, literally, which is why it came to an end after just 3-4 months. However, my passion remained and so, I guess, it was inevitable that I would try yet again. As well as the opportunities provided to many via #RTRUK, interest from genuine lovers of the show, my enthusiasm for it and in memory of Joe, I just had to return and this time I hope the show will go the distance. Eek! Please pray for me.. Seriously!

The Real Talk Radio Show UK returned to Déjà Vu FM on Tuesday 25th August 2015, 6pm - 8pm and is now scheduled to air live, EVERY SATURDAY at 3pm - 5pm!  

Albeit a talk show, there will be plenty of music {I have to get my riddim fix}, plenty laughs and plenty REAL and random moments!! There will also be unique ways for listeners to get involved and, where possible, other opportunities such as exclusive competitions.

The very first time the show aired I featured a 'Dr Phil' segment which was a tongue-in-cheek look at some of the not-so-serious and funny questions folks around the UK send in to magazines. However, that section of the show was very much Joe's thing; he absolutely loved it and it just wouldn't be the same without him so, instead... The 'Real Hot Seat'   {dare I make this a thing} will be a chance for guests and listeners to ask me absolutely anything, be that personal, or professional!

Tweet us your thoughts using #RTRUK throughout the show! - @CharleyRealTalk | @dejavufm

We may do Skype call-in's and live visual streaming further down the line.

Email me if you'd like your ***music played on the show

So, there you have it. Nobody can say with conviction {lol}, "Charley Jai is a quitter". No shame in my game, folks. The only way we ever get to be about the goals we dream of achieving, is if we go out into the world with our very best aim of ticking those boxes!!

Have a look at this VIDEO FOOTAGE of the show with my brother, Ashley J, as my co-host, our guest Jackie D {vocal genius}, alongside Karim from boy band Concept and their lovely friend Matt! This show {on ITCH FM} was epic and you can listen back here

I hope to have your support 
The Real Talk Radio Show UK 
every SATURDAY, 3pm - 5pm from 7th NOVEMBER 2015! x

The first show is likely to be a controversial one by default, ha-ha...

Some pics from previous shows..

Self made promo card!
Entrepreneur Junior Ogunyemi and I at déjà
ON AIR +Itch FM 
with my ITCHFM co-host Kat B {MTV}

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC TO: The Real Talk Radio Show UK!

***Clean tracks only - no expletives, or use of the 'N' word. Play is subject to terms and conditions at the discretion of the station manager.

You can also email me if you would like to be a guest on the show, or have a product, business, or brand you would like to promote.

Advertising may be subject to a fee depending on promotional requests.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post! x

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Images taken, or created by C Jai

Tuesday, 28 July 2015


“I wouldn’t fart on him”, “he’s good for nothing”, “he just doesn't get it”, “I wouldn’t pee on him if he were on fire!”. Just some of the phrases I’ve heard said by women in relation to men – usually their other half. Shocking? Not at all and that my readers is the very problem.

SOME women generalize men all the time! While there are men to whom those above phrases might be very well suited, I know of certain men who could easily be a poster-ad for all things good, wholesome and loyal because, guess what? No two men are the same despite so many of them having similar ill traits which, let us acknowledge, can be said of women too. Ladies, take a moment to imagine all men perceiving women as being stubborn, selfish, too fast, clingy, demanding, way too talkative and expressive, pushy and who think too much! Hmmm...

Following conversations had over the years with various ladies (of different backgrounds, age, sexuality etc), I have found that there are way too many females who seem to believe that guys are inferior in some way and always will be, owing {but not limited} to these things:
  1. Men do not experience child birth, or menstrual pain  
  2. Men are not subjected to perverse harassment on a daily basis
  3. Men do not juggle their career alongside their home life, social and family lives
Erm, wait a minute… What!? For the ladies who agree with the above, here’s what you need to recognise, process, understand and then roll with: First of all, FYI, men were not made to carry babies and go through child birth. I repeat, God did give any man a womb!!!! Secondly, where applicable, some men do indeed co-run their household whilst they work, or pursue a career and at the same time play a key role in raising children {in some cases they are not even the biological parent} and they too can experience unwanted attention in more than one form!!! From having a woman persistently eye-ball them {whether they are stood with another woman, or not}, uninvited contact and emotional, or physical abuse, men can also be on the receiving end of harassment. What world are some of you chicks living in?

I get it, to a degree, I really do… Many of us females, myself included, have been hurt terribly by men – lied to, cheated on, abused, taken for granted, mistreated and then some HOWEVER, why is the new man to pay for the ill ways of the last? At what point do you give Mr New a chance to show you who he is and all that he is about? What if Mr New is nothing like Mr Ex? What if Mr New is all of your dreams come true? What if Mr New is about to restore your faith in love? Find a way to get over your past and give Mr New a chance. Forget Mr Ex taking forward only what your relationship with him taught you which you can use to positively benefit your next!

I'm one who believes in having a fresh, clean state of mind when meeting somebody new. You should not tarnish someone you meet today with the brush made dutty by the one you met way back whenever! Like, really? Choopse!

Ladies, let’s be super real about this subject. If the tables were turned you’d most likely start to fume on some next level of vexation! You'd have the world of cusses to spout to your friends about him... “How dare he treat me like I’m his crazy ex? Talking at me instead of to me, you know! Dictating to me like I'm some dog he can order about... Telling me I’m worthless, disrespecting me in public, dissing me to his friends. Is this fool mad? Does he not know about me when I'm vex?!?”…. You would surely see all of his ill behaviour towards you as being wrong, unfair and not true of the person you believe yourself to be, regardless of whether or not his actions are as a result of having been done wrong by an ex. Men have feelings too but, most {it seems} have been raised to believe that it’s best to keep their emotions under wraps. These times, more often than not, both men and women want the same thing from one another. Freedom to be their complete self within a relationship!

All a woman wants is for her guy to {occasionally} wear his heart on his sleeve even if that is only when the two of them are alone. All a man wants is for his woman to {occasionally} leave him to his bravado; his macho act that society have raised him to believe is the way he needs to be in order to succeed in life. Both men and women just want to be understood but, that will remain a myth if we continue to assume and bark demands at one another instead of talk to AND HEAR each other!!

So, ladies, fart on men! Give Mr New a chance and stop being so damn picky with your list of 'must look like' and 'must be like'! Trust him unless he shows you that he cannot be trusted. Believe in him, have faith in him, work with him not against him and LISTEN to what he has to say in order to understand him instead of shutting him down so you can talk at him based on information he hasn't yet had the chance to give to you!!! Men, in a nutshell, just be more understanding, patient, chivalrous and supportive.
Us women share the same internal makeup however, we were raised differently; mostly taught to be a certain way based on our gender and the experiences of women before us, real talk! Think about it... I don’t agree with the pink vs. blue way in which the sexes are raised and I strongly disagree with every man or woman being held responsible for the bad actions of another, usually based on perceptions and stereotypical views as opposed to knowledge and understanding!
Again, no two men are the same. Plus, ladies, if you seem to “always get them gone wrong, no good type of dudes”, perhaps it’s time you reflect on yourself and check where you might be going wrong. It could be that you just need to work out a few of your own flaws before starting a new relationship. It isn't always a case of, "he just ain't ready for me!" Could be you're the one who needs to fix up! There are wonderful, amazing, intelligent, courageous, committed, organised, exciting, supportive, kind, nurturing, humble, worthwhile, charismatic, independent, family oriented, wholesome, strong, honest, trustworthy men out there who are:
Great fathers
Good role models
Hard workers
Positively influential
Brilliant boyfriends and husbands
Wonderful brothers, cousins, nephews
Amazing sons

SHOUT OUT to: my late grandpa, my late uncle Fabian, my late 'brother' Joe, my little brother Ashley J, my best and super amazing friend Tyrone Hylton, my close friend Jason York and our Lord Jesus Christ! These formidable men, in one way or another, are all of the above list and much more!!

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of YOU be like-minded, showing fellow feeling, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate, humble in mind, not paying back injury for injury but, to the contrary, bestowing a blessing...

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post! x

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Images taken from Google, 2 edited by C Jai

Thursday, 4 June 2015


So, here's the thing: Companies who make adult clothing in kids sizes are wrong. Plain and simple but, there is nothing any of us can do about that.

Here's the second thing: parents who dress their CHILDREN in grown up attire, to include make-up and mature footwear, figure hugging clothes and eccentric hairstyles, are simply encouraging the grotesque and unnatural desires of those who identify as pedophiles. Hard to read, no doubt but, facts usually are. However, there is something we can do about this!

While freedom of choice should be with and applicable to all, sadly it is not {in every situation} and, more time, it's about applying COMMON SENSE and SENSIBILITY before doing whatever you feel like doing where you believe such should be your right in its entirety.

Let babies be babies, a child be a child; youth remain youthful. I have no idea why any parent would, in this day and age, dress their child / children in grown-up clothing. The amount of times I have witnessed a variety of looks little kids {girls in particular} have received from strangers who have stared at them in their short body-con dress, mini heels, make-up, nail varnish, jewellery and clutch is countless! While some eyes have appeared to be shocked and disgusted, others have given a more welcoming impression by the way they were looking.

Am I a parent? No, by choice. Do I need to be a parent in order to understand that sexualising children in any way, shape or form is beyond dangerous and should NOT be happening at all? Hell no!!!! As an adult is it our duty to keep children from harm not put them in harms way! Nowadays, we need be extra cautious with our young people in terms of how we present them in public and how they are safeguarded online!!!

When young girls become loose, wayward teenagers having been raised on wearing explicit garments, carrying themselves as women way before their time and boys become wreck-less, young men following a youth where they were exposed to adult themes, why does anyone react with shock and condemn them? ALL behaviour is learned yet, if vigilant, a parent can intervene early enough to have a child unlearn certain behaviours. We know this is a fact. There are many social, mental, health and other such problems that can be born out of raising a child as an adult. It is not just about them potentially being sought after by pedophiles!

Once stuck in our ways as a child and left to continue with such ways into early adulthood, as a fully fledged adult it is usually a wrap!!! It is incredibly hard to change oneself after years of being a particular way. THINK about what you are teaching your child / children by the way you dress them, or encourage / allow them to carry themselves, especially with regards to intimacy and sex!!!!

I am also talking about children who model. If I were the parent of a child model I'd make sure the jobs they booked would not make them vulnerable {by the nature of the shoot}!!

This is something which has always been way too much for my life. I just cannot comprehend why some have certain feelings towards children and I also struggle to understand why, knowing that certain people are this way inclined, any parent / guardian / carer would still have their child, or children out in public dressed a particular way... I cannot deal, I really can't!

In no way do I condone any type of wrongdoing {be that against a person, or company, irrespective of age, race, type of business etc} however, this situation has long been a MAJOR problem and is partly with those who CHOOSE to ignore the danger of dressing our little people in big people's clothes.

I am not suggesting children be wrapped up from head to toe, all year round, in outfits that barely allow them to breathe! I'm saying, in my opinion, it will never be cute to dress any child in clothing that is more fitting for an adult, even more so where accessories and make-up etc have been added to further give a more mature, 'sexy' look...


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Saturday, 9 May 2015


I remember the 80s as a time when, for girls, if you didn't rock up to primary school with an illuminous bag, a characterised pencil, multi-coloured pens and scented highlighters you were considered un-cool. During the 90s, while at secondary school, it was all about wearing bandanas, raiders jackets, Dr Martens and ear-cuffs! Step forward into the current year and it’s all about the newest, original, or most famous 'youtuber'!! But, is YouTube a platform for everyone? Can we all become ‘youtubers’? 

I have three YouTube channels and am also a presenter for a fourth which doesn’t belong to me. When I first joined YouTube it was strictly for the purpose of presenting The Real Talk TV Series UK via a forum which is easily accessible and a platform where I could freely launch my project which I created to help others. 

RTTVS interview with TV Presenter +Remel London 

Sometime later, having come across Vloggers and being moved by those younger than myself who appeared to be overly stressed and/or concerned about having not yet settled down (at 20-something, you know, erm....), I decided to give vlogging a go myself from a complete raw and honest perspective. I now share videos via a second channel named Charley Real Talk!

The third is called Simply Siblings which features short videos (just 1 at the time of publishing this post) showing my brother (@Ashley_J_87) and I taking on silly challenges all in the name of fun!! We're really close, have a very similar sense of humour and LOVE to laugh so, for us, a channel together, sharing that vibe with everyone else, made sense. Would really like for you check out our very first video and hope that, if nothing else, it makes you smile!

But, what exactly is the point of joining such an egotistical, highly competitive online community (hub), overly saturated and dominated by all things hair, beauty, make-up, fashion, gaming and now 'a day in the life of' type videos by certain youtubers showing what youtube-fame has afforded them?

(Above) Patricia Bright, (below) Zoella

There are more than just a few reasons to become a 'youtuber'…
  • The chance to collaborate with and learn from other youtubers
  • You have the potential to realise and develop a new skill / skills
  • Opportunities in line with your career goals may come your way
  • By sharing your story / experiences etc you could be helping millions
  • Could become a refreshing hobby that is fun and positively challenging
  • As many know, the potential earnings could massively change your life!

Pointlessblog - Alfie Deyes

So, what should the goal, or aim be with your YouTube channel and what can you vlog about, or share that will be fresh and unique? I know you'll trust me in saying, “I am no expert” because, I'm not (have you seen the lack of views and subscribers to my channels? Let’s keep it real) however, I do believe myself to be an original 'youtuber' in that I am one who is entirely genuine - bar my fake hair, I keep it real!! None of my channels have been created selfishly, or with the sole purpose of seeing how much I could potentially rake in! My videos are authentic, they focus on my interests, hobbies, or experiences with no filters, literally. Other such youtubers appeal to me, massively… I’m bored of seeing the usual everywhere (online, in magazines, on TV etc) - all things style and appearance, although I still tune in to that stuff now and then so I'm in the loop...

Tyler Oakley

While the likes of Zoe Sugg (Zoella), Alfie Deyes (Pointlessblog), Tyler Oakley etc have and continue to make thousands as 'youtubers' (now a recognised and socially acceptable 'job' title I'll have you know), you are not them! You shouldn't try to replicate what they have done in the hope of achieving their success.... I think, irrespective of what you choose to share online, or in person for that matter, an honest approach to all that we do is always best and, in the end, will go the distance. Better to do all you do from a genuine standpoint. Transparency is easy to spot! Let the motivation behind your channel be one without expectations - for fun, to give back, to reach out, to learn etc, instead of being with the aim of wanting to reach 50,000+ subscribers and views believing you will then auto-join the youtube elite and with that raise your profile and income! 

It's lots of fun creating for youtube although it is also very hard work (at times) but, I believe it's worth giving a go. However, do not lose sight of your real life goals. There is no guarantee with anything! There is more chance of you being able to hold down a regular job (hopefully within your chosen field) which will provide you with some sort of stability than gaining youtube stardom! That said, CONGRATS to ALL those who've made a living from their youtube channel. Long may it continue for you!!! ;)

Happy youtubing, folks!!! 
Do share your channel / videos with me, would love to have a nosey!!

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this post! x 
If you did, please share it with others and feel free to leave a comment below.

If you're interested in having me review your show/event/film/theatre production, or you would like for me to host/present your event or show, contact me here. 

The Real Talk TV Series UK is set to make a little comeback, yay!!
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Some images taken from Google.