Sunday 26 November 2017

YOU SHOULD DO THIS!

So many of us have daily struggles to contend with, be that personal, or professional and, in most cases, a breather from those circumstances can help us to feel better, gain a new perspective and give us the clarity and focus we need to tackle our problems. If you don't already, I suggest you set aside one day each week, or a few hours one day per week to give yourself a break from anything, or anyone that has you feel stressed.

I'd heard that Kew Gardens is "very relaxing", "visually stunning" and "one of those places" that so many believe is somewhere that everyone "needs to go and see". I visited the much loved and raved about gardens (which happens to be an Instagram hot spot - #kewgardens) where I had a really lovely time with my family. I, myself, did feel quite relaxed walking around. Well, for the most part - it was so cold, the temperature dropped more than we had expected it to, which left me with numb toes and the struggle to walk became too real!...
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With my brother and sister
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Japanese Landscape
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Exterior of the Palm House - home to a variety of tropical plants.
It's very warm inside! 
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There are café's in the gardens - some items are overpriced
and you may have to 'wrestle' with pigeons as you eat!
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View from the TREETOP WALKWAY! It's very high!!
While I believe the overall experience is a tad overpriced, it's one of those things you just have to see for yourself. We explored the gardens during the day, went for a satisfying lunch (and to thaw, real talk), then returned in the evening for a completely different experience in the same gardens named 'The Afterdark Festive Trail'. This included food huts (one serving big square sized flavoured marshmallows, which you can then roast yourself), lots of fairy lights, an outdoor Christmas performance with a purpose built set, a stunning air water show, which, in my opinion, is the best attraction in the gardens, plus more! Although I'm super chuffed I can now say, "I've been to Kew Gardens", I think it would be a more enjoyable experience during spring, or summer. 
It's a lovely place to go with anyone, of any age (especially children who seem to find it magical), for any occasion. If you haven't been to Kew Gardens, you can book via this link

Special thanks to my sister Lydia, who organised the whole trip, I really appreciate all of the effort you put into making it a fab day out for the whole family!! x

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Sunday 19 November 2017

DEAR UNDERCOVER ABUSER,

You were not born with the right to lead anyone into a false sense of security; to manipulate trust only to unleash a myriad of abuse.

You are a vile, insensitive, cruel and ignorant dictator. In fact, your personality traits match that of a narcissist; you operate with a 'what I want, when and how I want it and no other way' attitude. You are desperately controlling and therefore destructive. Interesting that you do to others as you would not want them to do to you, nor your family.

The way you keep and use so many around you is disgusting. Although some would argue that certain individuals are stupid for allowing themselves to be repeatedly abused, the fault is entirely with you! 

You're such a mess and I feel so sorry for you. There's an insecurity, or demon you're not dealing with that has you roll around town all Jekyll and Hyde! You go from being so lovely and ridiculously thoughtful to distant, rude, manic, aggressive and abusive so damn quickly. You become a brutal sexual predator thirsty for what isn't yours to take albeit violently taken as and when you like. Despite the cries, screams, frightened voices begging you to stop, you continue to abuse your power and position to do one of the most horrific and life changing, damaging, scarring things one human can do to another. You then discard your victims ready to prey on the new...
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Dear Undercover Abuser, 

You are the worst type of human because, you've successfully managed to have so many people believe you are "nice"; one who is "charming" and "really cares about everyone" when the truth is you only care about yourself, your needs, your wants, your perspective on things and your feelings (those despicable, unjustified urges you allow to drive you). Everything you do is about your own desires regardless of how wrong those impulses may be.

You have now been exposed and can no longer hide who and what you truly are. Despite the bars, you've been given an opportunity to reform. Take it! Get well, if that is even possible. 

Karma is a two way street and, whether or not you are one day rid of your nasty thoughts and soul destroying behaviour, it will pay you a visit. I just hope that when it's done with you it doesn't cause you the same pain, heartache, despair, fear, trust issue's, physical scars, deep emotional damage (and the rest) that you've caused others.

On behalf of an army of survivors,
Not Yours but, Sincerely,
Charley Jai.

....................................................................................................................

To The Survivors (women, men, children, anyone of any age who has had such an experience) - please be reminded that there is nothing you have done, or said, that can ever justify being violated in any way, shape, or form. You have been wonderfully made. You are beautiful and deserving of great things. Own who you are and then use that ownership to ensure you succeed, both personally and professionally. You can do it! 

Charley x

Sunday 12 November 2017

A CANDID INTERVIEW WITH LINDA E

She is a self proclaimed ambassador of enjoyment and is one of the warmest voices on radio. Her love of all things entertainment has seen her interview American actress AJ Johnson, hair stylist Tokyo, music artists Lisa Maffia and Bonkaz, to name a few. Her likeable personality has also meant she is often chosen to host a variety of events including Live Lounge for City Connex, SWAFF (Streetwear and Athleisure Festival) and PITCH for O.N.E MovementI caught up with her for a well overdue catch up!
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How did you become a radio presenter? "Ha-ha long story short, friends of mine started a radio station a few years ago and I told them I wanted a show so, they gave me one".
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The creative/media industry is bursting with talent. What sets you apart from the rest? "My energy is unlike any I've seen before. I think my blood should be studied by a scientist. I also have a good mix of emotional intelligence, normal intelligence and confidence".
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Are you put off from pursuing your creative and artistic goals by the stories of misconduct and abuse within the entertainment industry? "Not at all. Unfortunately abuse and misconduct is part of many industries, so it has never put me off one bit".
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Do you feel social media is a help, or a hindrance to your profession/career? "Definitely a help, although you have to be savvy about the way you use it as well as filtering out the serious from the non serious people who may contact you".
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As well as radio, hosting events and handling press coverage for Pulse88 (the home of your radio show), you also have a regular job and you're very active on Instagram too! How do you manage everything?" Honestly, I don't know. God has just made me very good at juggling and when something is your passion you will always find a way to make it work!"
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You took took part in my 'Layers' photography project (I've included some of the images in this article) and we had so much fun! How important is it to you that your audience see different sides to Linda E? "It's extremely important, I am a human being and a multifaceted one at that which is a good thing. Different parts of me may appeal to different people, so I do want to show as many sides of me as possible".
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If given the opportunity to ask anyone in the world just ONE question, who would you choose and what would you ask them? "Oh, this is hard because I talk so much, but, I would ask Oprah to give me all of her contacts so I could start my own TV network!!"
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How do you intend to spend Christmas this year? "I'm not sure. Last year I was in Nigeria for Christmas, so, it will be hard to top that, lol... This year, I just want to have lots of fun!"
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DISCLAIMER: All information in this post was correct at the time it was published.

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Sunday 5 November 2017

THE BEST PROTECTION

This particular subject is one (I believe) everyone should speak about whether they have been directly affected or not. It's about raising a high level of awareness in the hope that we can bring about a long-term, effective change!

Sexual misconduct is not exclusive. It does not only occur amongst the elite, rich and famous. The difference between one with a public profile and the likes of Miss Nobody (aka me) is being in the spotlight. 

Sadly, one too many (males and females, of all ages, shapes, backgrounds and the rest) have been subjected to some form of inappropriate conduct by someone in/with a position of power (physically, or professionally) and the immediate emotional response varies. In a lot of cases that very response has been the extremely thin line between the incident taking a more sinister turn and the victim getting out alive...

There still remains the misconception that attire, or behavioural choices determine whether or not someone is more at risk of being subjected to a sexual, or violent offence and this is the most ridiculous thought, ever! A would-be perpetrator will likely target anyone they are convinced they can 'have their way with' and not get caught. 

A woman could be completely covered up except for her face, hands and ankles. A man could be dressed in jeans, with an oversized jumper, socks, boots and a hat. 'Monsters will do what monsters do'.

If one is physically unable to prevent an assault, should they survive their ordeal, one way to protect themselves (and others) going forward is to speak openly and unashamedly about the experience. EXPOSE the offender/attacker! Of course, such a thing is not at all easy and can take some time, but, it is so necessary. Now more than ever!! Speak out.
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Way too many powerful individuals exploit their privilege of power for the most horrid personal gains and I feel silence is their enabler. We all have freedom of speech and the choice to exercise that freedom.

ALWAYS say "no" firm and strong. ALWAYS fight back. ALWAYS expose anyone who has abused, or is abusing you. ALWAYS seek justice. You are not to blame, it will never be your fault, nor are you responsible. Take back control by reporting the perpetrator (giving as much detail and information as possible). Do not allow yourself to be held prisoner by your thoughts about your ordeal. Confront it (with the support of your loved and trusted ones, if possible) so you can move on.

The best form of defence and protection is your voice. Use it.

PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST POTENTIAL HARM
  • Keep a mini flashlight with you
  • Carry a whistle, or personal alarm
  • Use an alcohol based spray to stun
  • Do not drink yourself into an oblivion! 
  • Keep jewellery and expensive wear to a minimum
  • Leave distracting items out of sight (phone, music player)

This link will provide you with further information and tips relating to this subject.

You will help yourself massively and do a great service to others when you report a crime, so, please make sure that you do! We each have a duty of care to ourselves and those around us.

Be safety conscious.

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