QUARANTINE LOVE...

This post has been inspired by a recent episode of my IGTV show AMPLIFIED! titled Dating in Lockdown. 

I’ve mentioned the dating app Hinge on my blog before. Most of the men I came across on there appeared to be seeking a live-in-chef who can also clean, wash laundry, iron and provide ‘extra’s’ upon request. YAWN!!!! NO SUBSTANCE!! These are brown men (as per my preference) and supposedly grown, real talk! It’s as if there are none left with an ounce of maturity or depth. It’s just the cannot-prepare-a-meal-for-myself-and-don't-clean-up-after-myself-but-I-want-a-woman-who-can-do-those-things-while-also-looking-100-all-of-the-time type of men who remain single. I mean, go figure…

Here’s the thing. Truth be told, I do like my own space, on my own terms. I enjoy every moment of peace and stillness. I never truly feel lonely although in recent months I'm very aware that, outside of work, I am alone most days – before and during the lockdown. Do you get what I mean? There’s a big difference between being by yourself and feelings of loneliness. For me, the latter isn’t a problem because I always have something to focus on.

I mean, as I’m writing this post, I have no idea if I actually want to date or not and this has been my personal tug of war for a little while now. Seeing couples who ‘look’ blissfully happy has me consider the possibility of that for myself. But, when I see/hear couples at loggerheads I immediately feel super grateful that I haven’t had such a headache for some time and it’s that which has kept me solo. I cannot ever deal with nonsense again. EVER!

I’m a Virgo and while I do not 'buy into' zodiac descriptions, it is absolutely true that Virgo women can be incredibly complex. We are so sure (most of the time); so final with what we do and how we do it (in the home, at work, on a deeper personal level, etc.) that I think we sometimes do ourselves a disservice when it comes to matters of the heart without even realising. A Virgo can hold her own and maybe that means she is less likely to leave herself open to attracting the partner she imagines herself to be with. Knowing that doesn’t automatically change her though, especially once past the age of 30; lol, she’s quite stuck in her ways and so, it would take an incredible human to enter her world and turn it upside down in the best possible way.

I deleted the dating app, Hinge. Although I did not encounter any issues with it as such (and did go on a few virtual dates whilst in quarantine/lockdown), overall, I found the app to be such a bore. The men I came across were so typical (food, sports, gym, sex) and lacked the ability to hold a balanced conversation *rolls eyes*. That said, I don't know if I'm 1000% certain that I am ready to give up my simple, drama-free life for something that will undoubtedly be a tad more hectic than I’m now used to and that isn't necessarily due to the type of man I may potentially choose to be with, but because all relationships come with pre-programmed seasons in my opinion. From the ‘honeymoon period’ to the first glitch and the rest, there's always some ish to deal with.

I'm old school, I'd quite like to meet somebody organically (as has always been the case in the past) but, it seems, nowadays, meeting people IN REAL LIFE is somewhat impossible when heads are in screens or legs are moving like they’re powered by Duracell to get wherever it is they’re going. Eye contact doesn't happen much at all anymore! I guess even less so owing to the current times? I don't know...

Advanced technology and with almost everything so easily available via the internet means, I think, many feel less of a need to leave themselves open to a more genuine way of meeting/connecting with somebody which is a shame. I think we're more likely to see exactly what we can expect when we randomly meet in person than if we 'cross paths' online.

All of the above said, ambitious single brown men between the age of 38 and 45 who live in the UK, without children (and are not interested in having kids), non-smokers, no chequered past that still impacts your present, who prefer to go exploring than 'hit' the clubs, pubs, bars and other such 'hotspots', who are independent but not self-obsessed, not flashy (I have zero interest in your money, whatever car you drive, what material possessions you have, etc.) and with a mature sense of humour, holla!

Charley - @charleyjaiuk x