A WINDOW SEAT VIEW OF HIM

After a negative experience with someone, it’s natural to take a step back and quietly observe them from a distance. You watch, not out of bitterness, but out of curiosity — wondering if they’ll reach out, and if they do, whether their first words will carry an apology. You also wonder how you might respond...

To summarize:

He said, “I can’t. Let’s just be done.”
I said, “Okay, cool.”

I took a step back — a kind of window seat view — and immediately offered forgiveness and compassion. I understood that his outburst wasn’t directed at me; it was personal. He was grieving loss, wrestling with inner conflict, trying to be a friend (to me and others), a good partner (to his girlfriend), and supportive of loved ones also experiencing difficulties, all while juggling a demanding job. That kind of pressure can break a person down. It can lead to depression — and he was depressed, though he didn’t know it.

Some people believe that if someone hurts or disappoints you — even once — they should be cut out of your life for good. That you should close the door firmly and never look back.

I disagree.

Depending on the severity of the issue(s), there are times when a second, or even a few more chances, should be given — not endless opportunities to repeat harmful behavior, but an open invitation for growth and redemption. In my view, with a massive step back, to offer a gentle nudge toward self-awareness and healing is far better than a cold dismissal.

Sometimes, what looks like bad behavior is really a cry for help — even if the person doesn’t realise it. If you remain open, patient, and observant, you might begin to notice signs that they are trying to heal and grow. As the saying goes, leave people better than you found them — something I wish I’d learned and practiced long ago.

No one is born cruel or ill-intentioned. Life can wear people down, leaving them angry, defensive, or lost. When everyone gives up on them, they often fall further into that downward spiral and may not find their way back.

Taking a window seat view into someone’s life is one of the best ways to truly understand who they are and what drives them. It helps you to see whether your connection — romantic or otherwise — is rooted in something real and sustainable.

Before you give up on someone, especially someone you love, take a moment to look at their circumstances — their lifestyle, challenges, and pain. This isn’t about excusing bad behavior or enabling it. It’s about compassion. It’s about seeing where you might offer support, or at the very least, part ways with kindness, wisdom and clear boundaries. Or, if you choose to remain connected, you stay grounded in maintaining the emotional and physical distance you need to avoid losing yourself while encouraging them find themselves again.

Each of us holds the capacity to find our way back to the good within. It begins with a willingness to try and to be held accountable — and sometimes, it’s sparked by someone else’s belief that we can.

Have you let someone go and wonder how they’re doing now? Maybe you’ve both changed for the better. It might be time to reach out, to talk again—or maybe the wiser choice is to carry the lessons forward and keep your distance for your own well-being.

Either way, remember: always choose yourself first.

Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.