IS SOCIAL MEDIA REALLY THE PROBLEM?

The blame culture is one that has always been there, lurking, waiting to pounce the second there is a tragedy for which there is no individual who will take responsibility because, it’s much easier to point the finger at somebody, or something else than to look at ourselves. But that is often, in my opinion, what we need to do.

Death and I are in conversation at least twice a week and it’s always the same – (me) “should I keep going with this thing called life, or should I be just done with it?”. (death) “Be done with it! Is there any point in living just to struggle, have never-ending battles, be permanently exhausted, to give so much and receive so little? Just make everything stop, once and for all”. The fight to stay is one I don't quite know how to articulate...

For a positive person who is full of life, supportive and encouraging of others, most would find it shocking to learn that thoughts of suicide have plagued my mind since I was a teenager - I once wrote in a poem that death would be the ultimate relief of my pain. God willing, reaching my 40^th chapter this year will itself be a miracle. Why though? Why, if I am somebody so positively focused, with little to worry or complain about, do I often feel as though I cannot deal anymore and then think about ending my own life?

People.

Government failings = people (persons appointed to positions of power passing taxing policies).

Housing failings = people (Landlords - private, council, rouge who won't improve living conditions).

Antisocial behaviour = people (deliberate noise nuisance, street damage, violence, etc.).

Online bullying = people (self-loathing types who hurt others with their targeted negative posts).

Long work hours = people (employers who don't understand work-life balance is a must!).

Manipulative colleagues = people (some enjoy the wave of conflict that follows gossip).

Absence of loved ones = people (family and friends who don't stay in touch or do so halfheartedly).

Ryanair = people (never known of an airline to get away with so much wrongdoing!)

Selective circles = people (e.g. the Blogging 'community', in my experience, is nonsense unless you blog about beauty, health, travel, makeup and the alike).

PEOPLE!

So, back to the question: Is social media really the problem? SM platforms are operated by people. They are used by people. They are spammed 24/7 with content created by people. In my opinion, social media (the software, the platform) is not the problem. The problem is the way certain people choose to use them and, sadly, there isn't much you or I can do to prevent such people from carrying on with their nasty antics. It's up to the founders/developers/regulators of these social media platforms (this includes emails, WhatsApp and the rest) to put in place a more on-point method to permanently block users from being vile online.

Suicide rates seem to be on the rise. I do not believe this is because there's a new breed of people who cannot be bothered to live but because life is unnecessarily challenging nowadays. I think there are too many of us who feel suffocated by our day to day roles, responsibilities, worldly changes and having to accept that SO much of what we find unbearable is out of our control. We get very little support or understanding from employers, the government continue to be a letdown, family relationships are not as strong as they use to be, friendships are mostly virtual and everything else in between is more off than on so, we rarely know where we stand with anything or anyone and all of that can have a person feel a level of pressure, stress, anxiety (and more) that one cannot ever learn to manage. To then find that the online spaces (where one might go to feel uplifted and comforted) are used by some to abuse and tear down is, for many, the absolute final straw. It's A LOT whether you can imagine it to be or not; whether you believe it to be or not!

Quotes to stay positive, to keep on, to focus and stay resilient are helpful to a very short extent. Now, more than ever, WE NEED EACH OTHER! We need to be connected the way we once were; how it was in the '80s and '90s. Pick up the phone! Make a surprise visit! Send an unexpected gift! Post a thoughtful card! Extend a hearty invitation to do a fun activity! BE PRESENT IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES!!! For fuck's sake, CONSIDER ONE ANOTHER! Yes, I swore! I'm frustrated! It's getting so bad out here, man! We have EACH got to take responsibility before there is an epidemic of suicides, real talk!! Who, amongst your loved ones, are hiding pain and hurt beneath a bubbly exterior? You cannot make someone talk to you about their demons BUT, you can be physically present in a way that will let them know you are available to hear them if and when they're ready.

Not wanting to make any assumptions, but having done a fair amount of research, it would appear that most who are found to have ended their lives have done so believing it to be their only option to be relieved from their troubles. That's definitely how I sometimes feel. These are incredibly worrying times we are living in where too many can so easily start to feel they are drowning in a world all-consumed by trashing anybody and everybody for the sake of a 'story', gossip, to 'elevate' themselves, to profit from the downfall of somebody else and the rest. I do not believe the media (magazines, newspapers, news outlets) are the issue - there are a few publications who serve only to positively inspire such as The Happy Newspaper. It's some of the so-called EDITORS and their choice to allow journalists, photographers, etc., to share lies, publish horrid images and whatever else just to humiliate all in the name of 'entertainment' or some other self-serving reason. THEY are at fault. THEY are to blame! People. They all should be sacked and never allowed to work within the industry again.

THINK about your connections, your online sharing, your interactions, your communications, your personal investments in others and be honest with how, if at all, you are contributing towards healthy relationships with your loved ones and in the online spaces. If you know you can be a better friend, brother, sister, mother, father, auntie, uncle, brother-in-law, parent, guardian, teacher, employer, employee, colleague, a user of social media, etc., FIX UP because YOU could be all someone needs to choose life over death! Real talk!!

If you feel you cannot be there for others because you're battling inner turmoil yourself, reach out to a Health Professional and take their first available appointment to discuss how their services may be of help to you. You can do this virtually, over the phone, or in person. There are so many options. Speak out. You're human, flawed, imperfect, possibly damaged and in need of a little spruce. Who isn't? There's no shame in doing all that you can, within reason, to overcome your struggles; to STAY ALIVE! Therapy does work. It's the reason I'm still here... Let's start openly, positively talking to one another without prejudice, discrimination, etc.

Those who deliberately cause pain are hurting. Those who are being hurt are in pain. EVERYBODY is in need of rescuing in some way, shape, or form and NOBODY needs to walk any path alone.

God bless us all.