I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD SURVIVE...

For many, it's been a tough year! Whether it was the end of a relationship, being let go from a job, poor health, financial strains, family conflict, the loss of a loved one, or other grave experiences that we know to be occurring around the world negatively impacting us, the last 12 months have been a tad dark at times to say the least.

Although I am good at staying optimistic, there are times when I feel that having a "you've got this" and "you can do it" attitude just doesn't work for me. Sometimes my mood is low, my energy levels are practically nil, and my mind goes all over the place. I occasionally feel 'done with the world'. I can feel quite lost, literally...

I've had moments of feeling total despair, especially during October and November. For me, they are my reflection months; when I begin to look back on the year and check myself as it were. 

A solid perspective was restored once I re-read one of my favourite books, by Oprah, titled 'What I Know For Sure'. See, what I know for sure is that I will continue to pursue whatever I remain passionate about until I draw my last breath, regardless of how well I may or may not be doing. But, I'll not be hard on myself should that passion fade or I not succeed! 

"The struggle is too real" is a phrase I heard a lot during 2017 and, for me, it definitely was in a number of ways, however, I stayed focused on the things and people who make me happy and encourage me to keep striving! This isn't easy, but, it is achievable and a great way to rise above any nonsense. I also made progress with anxiety - I, to a degree, started to speak openly about the things I was finding difficult. I absolutely loathe the thought that I may be a burden to someone and I have also had a real battle with letting folks in because, I haven't wanted to get close to anyone so as to avoid potential drama which may [inevitably] lead to a fallout. I praise God that I am much better at sharing the absolute truth of my feelings now [where necessary] and with the relevant people, organically. 

I'm proud of myself - I've done well with anxiety, I achieved the goal of publishing a blog post once a week [that might change to once a fortnight next year] and I've managed to live a fairly 'normal' life despite constantly being in pain [with fibroids]. I took a course in Photography, saved up and bought my first DSLR camera [and started a photography project], I kept up with my exercise, was chosen to host a big corporate awards show which champions and supports young people [Business Launchpad], launched my own clothing range in partnership with a charity, this blog was rated in the top 50 on the Top UK Blogger list by Feedspot and I successfully ticked off the majority of my vision board. I did alright, mate!

One of my main goals was to use the platforms available to me to support others and I did that. I have always done that. Next year the goal is to focus mostly on my own pursuits both professionally and personally. I need to look after myself before trying to look out for others. 

This is my last blog entry ahead of the festive season which, for me, is all about food and peace! LOL!!

Be good to yourself, folks. When it comes down to it, you're all you've got.

Thank you so, so much for supporting my blog [to date, it has received 47,000+ views worldwide], my radio journey and all of my other endeavours. I hope to have your continued support. God bless x

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.