4 OF MY BIGGEST MISTAKES!!

Relaxing My Hair

Relaxed hair, I should've cared! [Age 17 - 29]

I was 17, too quick to make decisions and STUPID!! A very good friend of my mother's who is a qualified and highly recommended hairdresser and stylist relaxed my hair and chopped it into a bob and I loved it! The quality of my natural hair is pretty decent and the length is too. It's just really fine.... Having had my hair treated professionally for a year, I was lazy one weekend and instead of going to the hairdresser, I decided to purchase a kit and relax my own hair. FLIPPING IMBECILE!!!! Left the mixture in for too long, the top of my head began to burn and I was left with 2 bald patches which have never fully recovered. Although I [even more stupidly] continued to have my hair relaxed on and off for some years after that traumatic incident, I've no intention of doing so again! Not only due to that experience but, the chemicals are likely to have a negative impact later on in life as I've learned through the stories of older women. Braiding using hair extensions is also a strain on natural hair and so, I'm now at the stage where I think, like most black women, I might return to the old school and will never be lazy with it!

A 'Beneficial' Friend 
Completely different from a one night stand, FWB [Friends With Benefits] enter into a non committed intimate sharing, for want of a better way of putting it, that is to be on a strictly casusal basis... The mistake I made was allowing this to happen with one of my closest and dearest male friends many, many years ago. It lasted so damn long [at least 2 years, I think] that it felt very much like an actual relationship which neither of us wanted at the time and it all got a little bit messy. Although we are no longer in contact, we're always civil if we see one another which is actually super rare. Getting involved intimately completely destroyed what had been such an amazingly beautiful friendship because, we didn't ever openly communicate to each other how the situation was making us feel! Suffice to say, I no longer have a problem speaking my mind!!

Taking A Job I Didn't Really Want 
As you may know, I frikkin LOVE to keep myself busy especially creatively and this once led me to pursue a role I knew I wasn't particularly keen on at a company I'd heard such bad things about. I sent in my application, was interviewed, offered the job and from day one was treated so badly [as were many before me]!! Little did I know this particular chapter in my life was to turn my resilience up a gear, reignite my passion for radio and have me discover hidden skills and qualities which have since helped massively with my creative endeavors. Everything really does happen for a reason.

Going Backwards
Leaving déja vu fm the first time was something I was so, so upset about as it was due to

At déja with former resident host Linda E
and current member Colin

poor health. Returning sometime later was incredibly frustrating because, I felt stuck. I just didn't feel as though I was growing, or developing and genuinely had no idea what to do, when and how. However, going back enabled me to see clearly my strengths as a presenter, the areas in which I needed to improve, what I didn't want for my show and for myself as a professional and the platform I would need to pursue next so as to progress in the way I had been craving! Sometimes what you consider to be your worst mistakes might just turn out to be your best lessons, or the most needed push in what is to be a much better direction! Life, ehy?

What about you? Can you relate? What mistakes have you made that later turned out to be a blessing?

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