LIVING WITHOUT THE MASK

Can you relate?

Many of us have believed, or still believe, that feeling deeply is a sign of weakness - that acknowledging our truth somehow means we’re failing. In reality, sitting with your emotions is a form of release - free from guilt or the fear that they’ll trip you up later.

In the same way you do not need to parade your private life/personal business all over social media, you don’t have to announce your feelings to the world unless it’s truly necessary. You don’t have to talk them through with others, either, unless you’re struggling to make sense of them or want to offload. But you also don’t need to deny yourself the truth—living authentically matters. Freedom lives on the other side of honesty - I learned that the hard way.

In my twenties, like many girls in that age-group, I wore a mask every time I was faced with difficult or conflicting emotions. I’d be hurt but act unbothered. I’d feel sad but project happiness. I’d feel let down and pretend I didn’t care. The internal tug of war was intense and exhausting. The emotional and mental energy it took to maintain that façade wore me down. I was losing myself, losing people I cared about, and ultimately walking straight into the failure I was trying to avoid. Although not easy, I set about making significant changes once I entered my 30s. I had to if I wanted better for myself and for those who were still rocking with me. I'm now age 45 (at the time this article was written) and finally understand the meaning of the saying, "the truth will set you free".

I lead with authenticity, no matter what! I do so responsibly and respectfully, but always with complete honesty about where I am emotionally, even if it risks the end of a relationship or connection. I’d rather face a loss rooted in truth than have something or someone stay in my life because I was pretending. Accepting who you are at every stage of life is what makes true growth and healing possible.

It isn’t easy - being real with yourself about who you are and how you feel in every moment can be incredibly difficult, especially in the midst of conflict or challenges with others. But there is no greater reward than freeing yourself from the chains of living a lie!

Over the coming days and weeks, give yourself a reality check. What or whom are you falsely connected to and why? Did it begin with feeling pressure? Was it about a selfish gain? Fear maybe? How is wearing the mask working out for you? Equally, who or what did you let go without first exploring and working through the issues that were negatively impacting you? Get real with yourself and with them. The life you genuinely want will begin once you start walking in your truth. 

Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk, founder of @theindustrytea_