MEN AND WOMEN CAN'T BE FRIENDS

How many times have you heard or read, "it isn't possible for *straight men and straight women to be just friends"?. The common belief is that one of them will eventually develop romantic feelings towards the other. Myth or certified fact?

Perhaps the idea that *men and women can't be friends comes from those who have not experienced a platonic connection that has never crossed over into something physical. But then I think, "are some people sexually aroused by everybody they meet?". There's a huge difference, in my opinion, between attraction and physical desire. They are not one and the same, nor does the feeling of one subsequently lead to feeling the other.

Sometime in 2011, I met a *man through a work opportunity. I recall thinking, "okaaaayy, Mr beautiful dark skin" (I have always found dark skinned black/brown men most attractive), but that was it! 

We would go on to produce a super cool project together, alongside several others, and also become close friends. The friendship is kind, considerate, mutually positive, mature, wholesome, there is plenty of banter as well as effective communication, and it is refreshingly honest.

We were both in committed relationships when we met. While those relationships ended, our connection blossomed minus conflict, tension, or romance. Contrary to the untold quotes, reels, memes and many opinions on male and female dynamics and the suggestion they will eventually sleep together, this man and I have never been romantically aligned. It has been 14 years and we have not once flirted with each other, there have been zero innuendos shared, no intimate physical contact and most certainly no desire to be more than what we are. Friends.

I remain single and **he is now married. We are still great friends and our interactions and communication, albeit much less, continues to be what they have always been - respectful and supportive. The End.

Having a few *men in my life that are (and have only ever been) solid friends or like brothers to me is so important. I'm deeply grateful for each of them. 

They teach me, they protect/look out for me, they are kind and patient, they hold me accountable, they show up when they can, they're good at letting me know they value me, they tell me when they miss me, they support me and they're always ready to find solutions not argue. I feel safe with each of them, and that's the icing.

Based on personal experience, straight men and straight women can be friends even if there is an attraction. No blurred lines, no hidden agendas, just friends.

Written by @charleyjaiuk

**Duval Akonor consented to this article being published.