7 REASONS TO SMILE

We all know that a smile can do so much; it's often enough to cause a much-needed boost of positivity and smiling feels amazing, especially when a smile shared is returned. That said, random fact, I often try to not smile as I’ve never been a fan of my crooked teeth ☹ although the thought of this just made me laugh, LOL!!

Have you ever caught yourself mid smile and asked yourself, “what has me smiling?”. I do, every time…

1: Future possibilities – I sometimes get really excited about the potential of tomorrow. I try not to dwell because, as we all know, today is the only guarantee we have but, it makes me so happy to ponder over what my future might look like; what I may (eventually) achieve for myself.

2: The happiness of ‘my’ children – the young ones in my life mean such a great deal to me and then some! I love them equally and pray for them all the time. That they are safe, happy, developing well, flourishing, enjoying life, will have the brightest futures and that I will be around long enough to see them living their best lives. Equally, knowing that all my loved ones are well, happy and enjoying life makes me smile.

3: Writing – I mean, if you hadn’t noticed by now, I LOVE blogging! My interest in writing began when I was aged 8 or 9 and had to write a short story about an elephant as per the assignment from one of my teachers (at primary school) who was obsessed, to say the least, with elephants. I then went on to continue writing stories about animals and later progressed into poetry, some journalism and then blogging. I feel so calm and free as I'm writing, mostly when the words just flow. I only write if I'm inspired hence why there are times when I don’t publish anything. I cannot write on demand.

4: Taking pictures (of others and nature) – Similar to writing, I began taking photo’s when I was a child. My first camera was a Kodak Ektralite (do you remember those?) that you fed the film into and would later have developed at your local pharmacy. Many moons later, I have taken a course with Shaw Academy and have a considerably basic (cheap) DSLR which I mainly use to continue learning with. I LOVE it and, to date, folks seem to really like my work! For me, it's about creating longlasting memories and, again, it's something I find really calming.

5: Music – I imagine I have talked about this subject way too much across my blog but, it is what it is, I LOVE music and always feel grateful for it. At the time of writing this post, I’m listening to Tevin Campbell’s album titled I’m Ready on repeat! JOY!

6: Freshly painted nails! - I don’t like my hands much. The palms are sometimes quite dry (they could likely grate cheese!) and they look quite old, to me. However, slap a bit of nail polish on them and they look alright, lol... I think neatly painted nails can make all the difference in how a person feels about themselves. When my hands look (fairly) decent I'm less conscious about the 'state' of them and have no problem with them being seen. Yes, it's that deep! LOL!

7: Love – please tell me that you know you are loved and that you realise the wonderful impact your love has on others? Love is, in my opinion, the most powerful and moving emotion of all the feelings we are blessed to experience. My struggle with it can be super real at times, but, I believe in love and I allow myself to both receive and give love because I know without it this world would be filled with endless doom. It’s love that is ultimately the remedy for everything. Think on that for a moment…

I hope you are smiling right now 😊

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

 

8 THINGS TO DO BEFORE JULY!

So, regardless of what the future may 'look' like, personally, I think it’s essential that (if we have not already begun to do so) we start to put certain things in place now for the months ahead and, God willing, the new year! Having a lot of time on our hands and/or having to be at home provides us with such a great opportunity to put ourselves in a position to thrive in ways we haven’t done or better than we currently are...

1) Revise your self-maintenance routine. Make sure you are taking great care of yourself, if you can, to be (and feel) at your best as often as possible. This will give you the energy and positive vibes you need to stay motivated and proactive in pursuit of your goals. When my skin feels silky soft and has a healthy glow I instantly feel a lot more confident and upbeat; somehow I am spurred on even further to achieve my goals!

TIP: keep your routine simple but effective. Whether it's daily or once a week, fortnightly or monthly, it shouldn't feel like a chore.

2) Start learning something new and stay dedicated to completing it. Doing so will have you feeling great about yourself and it could be the key to unlocking that door you’ve been trying to open. There are plenty of free online courses available - do a google search and sign up!

TIP: Discover new interests by searching your current likes online. Random things may pop up that you haven't considered trying before.

3) Pick a few events to attend (an online launch, webinar, an upcoming Masterclass, etc.) – register early, do some research to help you participate and make sure you show up (on time) eager to share not just take.

4) Create your summer capsule wardrobe – let go of everything that is worn, doesn’t fit, that you know you’ll never wear or that you dislike and keep the pieces you really enjoy wearing and the seasonal items which can be mixed and matched together.

TIP: You can also start creating your autumn and/or winter capsule wardrobe (s) using the same method and if your local charity shops have shut down, do an online search for your local clothing bank where you can safely drop off any unwanted clothes.

5) Update your phone book. You may have contacts whom you never call/message, who don’t call/message you, that should no longer take up your storage. It might be time to develop new connections if you find that the current ones always ignore your efforts to communicate or vice versa. Or, you may realise you have numbers for those you've been missing! Give them that long-overdue call! Reconnect and get back on track with each other.

6) Tidy up your social media profiles – do they portray you in the right way? Is there any old content that represents you negatively? Might you have information that is outdated? An overhaul could be just what your accounts need to perform better depending on what you want to gain from using them. 

7) Evaluate your relationships and make improvements. Who is important to you? Do they know how you feel? When did you last speak with them? Do you want to spend time with them in the near future? Be clear about your intentions, with reasons, and be authentic. It’s so important that you know why you have certain people in your life, what their roles are and that you both know where you stand with each other.

8) Make a promise to yourself and commit to it – this can be personal or professional, however, it would be great if it were something that requires you to push forward! Once declared, put all of the necessary bits and bobs in place to hold yourself accountable so that you see it through. E.G. "regardless of any obstacles, I PROMISE MYSELF to refurbish the spare room in my homee before the year ends so I can finally have loved ones stay over when the opportunity arises."

SUMMARY: Do yourself a favour by taking an honest look at who and where you are right now. Identify the areas of your life where there is room for development! Career, love, friendships, family connections, personal achievements, etc., and start ticking things off of your list!

No matter what, if nothing else, we will do ourselves a solid by trying to stay positive during this time and beyond. I hope you are safe and well, having fun exploring new and exciting things, able to check in with your loved ones via video calls and enjoying nature where possible. 

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

UTILIZE YOUR SKILLS

When lockdown began I felt a little concerned about the restrictions because they were not entirely clear and there seemed to be (and still does seem to be, at the time of publishing this post) no end in sight. I wasn’t worried about anything as such, in terms of having to stay at home (despite having a neighbour who deliberately disturbs the peace every night and into the early hours of each morning), albeit I'm now at the point where I'm itching to get out and about without the need for social distancing and masks. But, I have had moments of wondering if I'd be able to carry on being productive and assertive. I also thought about how unruly my hair, eyebrows and general self-care would be by the end of it, lol! Have you felt like this? I mean, I'm laughing as I type, but, it's a serious matter. Real talk!

If you know me personally you’ll know that cleanliness, smelling and looking good, being healthy, having clear skin, good eyebrows, my hair on point; decent overall hygiene, are things that I pride myself on. I have been determined to not allow anything to slip and fortunately, I'm managing everything quite well. I did a Beauty and Nails course moons ago (thanks to The Prince’s Trust) which has been very useful during my quarantine and I do find it fairly easy to commit to certain healthy choices so, that department hasn't been much of an issue either…

However, I'm not sure if I will continue to pay to have certain 'beauty' treatments done once the lockdown is over. At the time of writing this post, I haven't made any decisions regarding my eyebrows (ha-ha! I'm not that good with them so, I think they will always require professional taming) but, I intend to look after my hair myself until I am ready to chop it all off. No more paying to have somebody do for me what I can now do for myself and do well enough! This is such a strange time... As the saying goes, I’ll just have to wait and see. Life after lockdown/the apocalypse will certainly be interesting!

One thing that being in quarantine has done for me (and maybe for you too) is it has made me realise that I am capable of so much more than I think and give myself credit for. There's plenty I can do for myself. In fact, I’ve realised there’s quite a bit I’d like to learn, get better with, or start practising much more. I think my post quarantine life will look quite different from the life I lived before.

What about you? Is there anything you have decided you’ll change or implement once this horrid season ends?

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

TATTOOS IN HIDDEN PLACES...

At the age of 18 (1998 - College), I chose to get inked and it was quite a big deal back then. 2 of my friends at the time were also super keen to be tattooed, however, we knew that our parents would be furious with us. Nonetheless, we saved up our allowance and had every intention of going through with the carefully planned “Tattoo Adventure”.

Buzzing, literally giggling and dancing as we made our way from College to the tattooist in Forest Gate, East London, we arrived at the small shop adjacent to a hair salon and instantly felt panicked! It would be a while before choosing which one of us would go first. One of my friends did (she chose to have a butterfly tattooed on one of her breasts), I was second and the third bailed! LOL! I decided on, what I felt at the time, was a bold choice (albeit not as bold as my friend with the butterfly)...

At the top of my right arm, I have a dolphin leaping through the sun, which I chose from a collection of designs at the shop. I was SO in love with it and use to look at it almost all the time. It made me feel happy, energised, confident, hopeful, at peace and motivated. Why? For me, it represented my lust for adventure, my fascination with dolphins (not the pink ones, lol) and my dream to live somewhere sunny, remote, close to the water and peaceful. I still feel this way about it, but, it’s fading slightly so I may have it redone at some point.

It wasn’t until I turned 23 or 24 that I invested in my second body art. This one was to be designed by my boyfriend at the time. An incredible dancer of Nigerian heritage who was shy, but charismatic and impressionable, but not somebody who was ever in your face, soft-spoken but firm when he needed to be, a great cook, always a lot of fun and he had the most calming nature. With both of us being performers and creators, to say that our love for the arts was on another level didn’t even come close to how we felt about the industry. Randomly, we also became obsessed with Adidas and it was quite intense, LOL!!

I wanted a tattoo that would represent my relationship with the arts and my desire to stick with it while also wanting to be free from all the ‘drama’ (no pun intended) that came (and still comes) with it. He created his own version of the comedy and tragedy masks attached to a chain held by a hand in a closed fist which was spot on! It took over 20 minutes for the tattooist (the same one in Forest Gate) to finish inking my lower back. I was dripping the world of sweat, but, when it was done, I instantly felt empowered. It is my least favourite tattoo whenever I put on weight (sigh) however, the representation and feeling when I look at it are the same.

FYI: These were the clearest pics I could snap of the tattoos below...

On the back of my neck, I have a small tattoo which took about 5 minutes to ink of a heart with an upside-down music note. My love for music has been apparent since I was a child. Music is freedom for me and always will be. It is my joy, my pick-me-up, my answers, my redirection, my release, my mood shake, my wake-up call, my dose of real talk, my spring clean backdrop, my sanity. Music is my go-to for everything. Put a feel-good riddim on, especially a tune from the ’90s, and I am a different woman with moves nobody knew existed. LOL!

“Defective stars”. This is what I asked for when I walked into an unfamiliar tattoo shop one day sometime between 2006 and 2007 when I was struggling emotionally and mentally; I have no clear memory of the whole tattoo experience, but I do recall that the guy was in a rush and it actually worked in my favour. The 3 stars are on the inside of my left wrist and they serve as a reminder of my strength and resilience during a time when I felt lost, vulnerable and somewhat disconnected from myself, and then having taken back my power by choosing to fight through my demons. I was determined to not give up on myself and I had to start by quitting the (bad) habits that were holding me back. It still helps today when I look at the design and am reminded of that time and what I have overcome. They are beginning to fade so, I'd definitely like to have them redone at some stage.

My unique rose is a symbol of pain and love. Tattooed on the outside corner of my left hand, it serves up a daily dose of fierce determination in memory of my favourite uncle who was a friend and like a father to me. He passed away in 2007 (I had the tattoo done sometime after, possibly a couple of years later, I'm not sure) and I miss him more than I know how to articulate. The rose is a comfort to me and I intend to have it restored.

Five tattoos, four of which are often hidden (by default clothing choices), each of them with me permanently and, so far, since 1998, I have no regrets about that.

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

YOUR QUARANTINE, YOUR CHOICE!

We had the world of information shoved at us and too many with ‘advice’ and 'suggestions' on what self-isolation would mean, how it may potentially impact us and what we should and/or should not do during the lockdown. At one point (for a couple of days) I had to switch off the news, mute all notifications for social media and WhatsApp, delete email updates from subscriptions (all of which I delve into in small doses now) and just breathe. I started to read more books and write for my blog. I decided that I would create a daily to-do list, set myself weekly goals and maintain a routine. My aim was to ensure that, no matter what, I had things in place to help me focus on the positives and to encourage myself to remain hopeful.

For me, it is everything to be productive! I love waking up early to exercise, meditate, pray and reflect. This is something I have been committed to and have seen the benefits of during lockdown, especially as I've been able to exercise for a longer time in the mornings and for a second time in the afternoons. Twice daily workouts have been my absolute joy!

Some of my goals might not seem that big of a deal to you, or they may shock you based on how you view me, but, I am deeply proud of myself for sticking with all that I put in place to keep myself healthy – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It isn’t ever a walk in the park but, it is so necessary…

However, there is NO one-size-fits-all. It really is a case of each to their (survival) own. There is no right or wrong with your approach to handling this intensely uncertain chapter in our lives. If all you manage each day is a stretch, great. If you only open your eyes and yawn but stay in bed, great! Whatever you feel capable of doing daily is fine. No two people are the same, so, nobody should expect that everybody is able to navigate their way through this bizarre season in the same way. We are so different from each other. It’s okay to do nothing and it is also okay to do everything. 

Personally, I need to be busy albeit with a clear purpose.

Here are some things I am proud of having achieved during the lockdown: mould treatment in a few areas of my home, braiding my own hair (from scratch) for the very first time using Xpressions, writing more for the blog, taking my own photographs for each blog post, no retaliation towards nuisance neighbours (disturbing the peace almost religiously with their unnecessary noises – when this happens I cannot do anything. I can’t read, focus on writing, watch TV, or meditate. I just have to sit and wait for the horrid, intrusive sounds to end), maintaining cleanliness throughout my place (not once have I let dishes or any mess pile up), decluttered, made a banana loaf (which I had not done before but had always wanted to do and it was SO good), starting a new creative venture (just for fun) and making my own smoothies (something I had not bothered to do in the past) thanks to Vitamer!

Often, it really is about the simple things in life. I have truly felt relaxed most days, positive, upbeat, happy, calm, excited for each day. Despite the occasional battle with anxiety (which has sometimes prevented me from going outdoors), I am not worried about life after lockdown. I know for a fact that I have my daily routine to thank for that as well as almighty God! All of the above said if I had been feeling down, unmotivated, and as though I just cannot be bothered with anything, this would also be okay because, I am not perfect and this is a new, shocking situation none of us saw coming!

I hope you are managing well, all things considered. Go easy on yourself, it's a strange time.

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.