I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD SURVIVE...

For many, it's been a tough year! Whether it was the end of a relationship, being let go from a job, poor health, financial strains, family conflict, the loss of a loved one, or other grave experiences that we know to be occurring around the world negatively impacting us, the last 12 months have been a tad dark at times to say the least.

Although I am good at staying optimistic, there are times when I feel that having a "you've got this" and "you can do it" attitude just doesn't work for me. Sometimes my mood is low, my energy levels are practically nil, and my mind goes all over the place. I occasionally feel 'done with the world'. I can feel quite lost, literally...

I've had moments of feeling total despair, especially during October and November. For me, they are my reflection months; when I begin to look back on the year and check myself as it were. 

A solid perspective was restored once I re-read one of my favourite books, by Oprah, titled 'What I Know For Sure'. See, what I know for sure is that I will continue to pursue whatever I remain passionate about until I draw my last breath, regardless of how well I may or may not be doing. But, I'll not be hard on myself should that passion fade or I not succeed! 

"The struggle is too real" is a phrase I heard a lot during 2017 and, for me, it definitely was in a number of ways, however, I stayed focused on the things and people who make me happy and encourage me to keep striving! This isn't easy, but, it is achievable and a great way to rise above any nonsense. I also made progress with anxiety - I, to a degree, started to speak openly about the things I was finding difficult. I absolutely loathe the thought that I may be a burden to someone and I have also had a real battle with letting folks in because, I haven't wanted to get close to anyone so as to avoid potential drama which may [inevitably] lead to a fallout. I praise God that I am much better at sharing the absolute truth of my feelings now [where necessary] and with the relevant people, organically. 

I'm proud of myself - I've done well with anxiety, I achieved the goal of publishing a blog post once a week [that might change to once a fortnight next year] and I've managed to live a fairly 'normal' life despite constantly being in pain [with fibroids]. I took a course in Photography, saved up and bought my first DSLR camera [and started a photography project], I kept up with my exercise, was chosen to host a big corporate awards show which champions and supports young people [Business Launchpad], launched my own clothing range in partnership with a charity, this blog was rated in the top 50 on the Top UK Blogger list by Feedspot and I successfully ticked off the majority of my vision board. I did alright, mate!

One of my main goals was to use the platforms available to me to support others and I did that. I have always done that. Next year the goal is to focus mostly on my own pursuits both professionally and personally. I need to look after myself before trying to look out for others. 

This is my last blog entry ahead of the festive season which, for me, is all about food and peace! LOL!!

Be good to yourself, folks. When it comes down to it, you're all you've got.

Thank you so, so much for supporting my blog [to date, it has received 47,000+ views worldwide], my radio journey and all of my other endeavours. I hope to have your continued support. God bless x

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

DO THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS EVERY YEAR!

A few years ago I decided to make a conscious effort to get my friends together on the odd occasion throughout each year to ensure we didn't fall into the virtual realm so many have become comfortable with which often leads to less real life contact and communication. Initially I created a WhatsApp group, to which I added my handful of true friends, then I began organising an outing every few months purely for fun and to obviously cultivate the friendships. 

Being one who loves to organise events (I worked as an events planner for several years), I soon proposed that I plan a dining experience to include table friendly games, gifts and a moment of thanks, once a year, a few weeks before Christmas. I named it 'The Annual Gratitude Supper' and the aim is to share positive and encouraging reflections of the year gone by, to inspire and uplift each other. It also prepares us for the year ahead in the best possible way.

This year we dined at Ping Pong, Southbank and we had such a fabulous time! We laughed from our arrival until we all said, "bye, be safe and send a message to the group when you're home" once we were done stuffing our faces, playing some games and exchanging gifts. If you've never dined at Ping Pong before, let me tell you, the food was super yummy, healthy and so affordable! I highly recommend you give them a try. After each having had a long day, we were desperately hungry and very excited for our evening together, so, I forgot to snap pictures of our food, table decor, the games and activities we played!!

In true Christmas spirit we pulled crackers, opened presents, ate delicious vegan treats (courtesy of Lola's Cupcakes) and we, of course, took turns sharing what we are grateful for (this year). It really was a wonderful time and the restaurant staff were delightful. I literally went out of my way to make this be an entire experience.

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.

14 TIPS: HOW TO NETWORK

The word 'networking' is no longer as daunting for some as it once was. In fact, it isn't a word we hear used very often these days because, the way we network has changed; it has evolved, or rather; we now approach it very differently to how we use to.

That being said, for those who may still feel a tad on edge when they consider having to 'network', the tips below may be helpful.

Instead of walking around an event armed with business cards you shove at anyone who says "hello" to you, an unplanned opening line, no target individual in sight and the 'oh so desperate to be booked' vibe, these methods and tactics may have you feel more confident. Give them a try! 

⦁ Get clued up! - What is the aim of the event you're attending? Who is the founder/organiser? Who is involved (from talents to sponsors) and in what way could you perhaps be part of the team in the future? What do you have to offer, if anything?

⦁ Have an aim. Why are you there? What do you hope to gain?

⦁ Do you! Be true to who you are (from head to toe, literally) - if you're uncomfortable in what you are wearing it will show and may send the wrong message/signal.

⦁ Social media is your business card/CV (to a degree, sadly; in fact annoyingly) - folks aren't likely to look through your actual credentials unless they like who you 'appear' to be online. Tidy up your profiles, make sure your name is the same, or similar across all.

⦁ What is your conversation starter? Will it be in relation to the event you're attending, or the weather that day? Are you going to introduce yourself then invite the other person to talk about themselves first? Know what you intend to say before you approach.

⦁ REMEMBER: networking means to have a chat; to get to know someone! You can do that anywhere, anytime, with anybody. So, try to start a conversation with the person who serves you the next time you go into a shop. You may find yourself talking to a superstar in the making!

⦁ Attend solo - you don't need to have a friend tag along just so you don't feel 'silly', or alone. It shows confidence when you arrive to an event on your own and that you also want to be approached; you're there to openly meet new people.

⦁ Eye contact is more important today than ever before. People are a lot better at reading one another nowadays and that starts with the locking of eyes during a chat. I mean, don't burn a hole in their pupils but, make sure you show them that you are keen to talk by paying attention with your eyes. Failure to do could have them lose interest and cut the convo short!

⦁ Your phone is your note pad - record all vital information in a draft email and send it to yourself (so, should your phone crash, you don't lose the notes you've made) and immediately (after leaving the event) follow those you connect with on social media so, you can start building a 'relationship' through content interaction.

⦁ However, do not be glued your phone and, if possible, don't keep it in your hand the entire time. You want to appear ready to mingle and will also need your hands free to greet with a handshake, take a drink (or nibbles) that may be on offer etc.

⦁ Make sure you carry chargers for any devices you use regularly that you plan to take with you to whichever events you choose to attend (just in case).

⦁ Document the experience (primarily for yourself) by taking pictures and video footage (yes, for Instagram, snapchat, and the rest, if that's your thing), but, also because, you never know how that content might benefit you going forward (in terms of creative projects you may embark on).

⦁ Be about getting to know the people not just collecting contacts. Folks can smell such an agenda a mile off and tend not to like it even if they know that's the reason for the actual event!

⦁ Finally, do not chase anyone. If you've made an attempt to speak with somebody and they (quite blatantly) show they're not interested, leave them be. There's plenty more people in the room/venue, I'm sure!

Written by Charley Jai - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.