From childhood dreams to the realities of life in my 40s.
During a class in primary school the teacher asked us, "if you could have a superpower, what would it be"? I answered, "I could fix people and make them not be sick or sad". The teacher was Mrs Newman, she drew elephants on the board - her fave animal - and always held a smile even when cross. As young as I was - and I am literally sobbing as I type this - I remember wanting to be as cheery and as positive as Mrs Newman when I grew up. I wanted to be someone's reason for their smile, their laugh, their happiness, their hope...
Of course, there is so much to learn and I've had many failings, hurt people along the way and also let myself down too. Your childhood is mostly play. It’s also being screamed at by adults, frustrated by the innocent mistakes you make—whether while playing or trying to help with something that 'only grown-ups are meant to do'.
Your teens are spent trying to be cool and fit in with people you don’t yet realise are unlikely to be at your side for the rest of your life (and who aren’t as cool as you think). Your twenties are an extension of your teens - you flit between wanting to remain nonchalant and the need to feel like you're a fully independent adult.
Then, with much anticipation and some dread, you hit 30 and you feel a sudden shift. But the shift is BIG - it literally shakes you - you're 'forced' to step into adulthood and get your ish together so that, if successful, "life can officially begin at 40".
Being in my 30s was WILD! I can remember what I did to celebrate (those details are not for the blog, LOL), but I can also recall how daunting that first year felt. I wasn’t quite ready to leave my 20s behind—there was unfinished business, a feeling of not wanting to grow up, and I still needed time to adjust. I definitely didn’t want any more responsibilities than I already had.
My 20s had given me a well-paid job, my first home, a whole heap of bills, but also allowed me to stay a little footloose and fancy-free, so to speak. I was OUT, OUT - LOL!! Your girl was about the social scenes from East to North, real talk. But, my 30s required me to step up and get my ducks in a row.
What nobody prepares you for - ahead of turning 40, in a world driven by tech, social media preachers, high living costs, and increasingly busy lives - is that brief but intense moment when you don’t quite know who you are yet, while at the same time being so sure of who you are not.
And that’s why it's so important to get to know yourself in your thirties: that chapter offers the space to explore who you are outside of anyone else’s expectations. It’s a decade where you can cherish friendships that feel like home, pursue passions that light you up, and trust the quiet instincts that have been whispering to you all along.
You don’t need a romantic partner, a promotion, or society’s checklist to validate your worth. What matters is the small, brave choices you make every day to honor your own path, your own values, and your own joy.
By the time 40 rolls around, all those lessons, missteps, and little wins start to make sense—you begin to step into life on your own terms.
So give yourself permission to wander a little, to say no without guilt, to prioritise what feeds your soul over what you think will impress others. Listen to yourself more than the world’s noise, and remember that life isn’t about catching up—it’s about showing up for yourself. You might just find that in embracing your own journey fully, you become exactly the kind of person others can’t help but admire and feel inspired by—just like Mrs. Newman.
Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk, founder of @theindustrytea_