TRY LIVING ALONE FIRST

There’s something quite special about having your own place. Not your partner’s home, where half your wardrobe slowly migrates every time you visit. Not a house share, where the fridge feels like a social experiment. I mean your name on the tenancy, your sofa, your cups and plates, your slightly questionable life choices, LOL… all yours.

Before you move in with someone I’d suggest living alone first. A year, properly. Not because it’s superior; it just teaches you things you can’t learn any other way. There’s an unlearning and then a gentle becoming you can’t quite experience with somebody under your feet and them under yours, no matter how “cute” and “exciting” it seems at first.

Living alone shows you who you really are. Your rhythms. Your habits. Whether you love silence or need background noise. Whether you’re tidy, chaotic, social, or solitary. There’s no one to perform for, no one to adjust around. Just you.

At first it can feel loud in its quiet. But then something shifts. You learn to sit with yourself after a long day instead of reaching for company. To comfort and regulate yourself. To handle the bills, the 2am noises, bin day. You become capable. Steady. Proud of your independence. You start to value the freedom to switch off or take space without asking.

Also, and this is important, you date differently when you love going home to your own place. You don’t tolerate nonsense just to avoid being alone. You start asking, “Does the person I’m dating align with who I’m becoming? If I lived with them, would they add to my peace or drain it?” The truth alone can save you years.

Living alone isn’t a rule or a test you must pass before true love. Just a season that sharpens and softens you at the same time. You develop a relationship with yourself first so when you eventually choose to live with someone, it’s not because you don’t know who you are — it’s because you do. Game changer!

If you’re in it now, lean in. Buy the rug. Have a solo rave. Enjoy building a life that’s fully yours - one that doesn't depend on someone else.

You’re not behind. You’re bravely learning how to stand on your own two feet before deciding to live with someone, and that’s powerful.

Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk, founder of @theindustrytea_

WHEN LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH

This post is inspired by an overheard conversation between a couple who, at the end of their discussion, decided "love just isn't enough" and ended their relationship. It was very sad.

Someone can love you deeply and still not choose you.

Not because the emotions weren’t real. Not because they didn’t feel it. But because loving you made them aware of the gap between who they are and who they believe they should be. Reminding them how far they think they still need to go — so they walk away, feeling incapable of standing beside the life you represent.

They see how you carry yourself. The way you move with purpose. How you handle your life. Instead of feeling inspired, they feel exposed. Like standing next to you highlights the parts of them that feel unfinished. Not broken. Just… not where they hoped to be by now.

That type of awareness can be loud and deeply uncomfortable.

Being with you might feel like stepping into a life that asks more of them — more responsibility, more growth, more depth. Even if you never asked for any of it. Even if all you wanted was to build side by side. In their mind, though, it might feel like pressure. Like they have to become a different version of themselves just to keep up.

So they drift toward what feels easy. Someone in the same season. The same pace. The same comfort zone, etc. With that person, there’s less fear of disappointing them. Less of that quiet voice whispering, “You’re behind.” It’s easier to relax when you don’t feel stretched — even if the stretching may have shaped you in the ways you want.

From the outside, it can look confusing. Why walk away from something meaningful? But love doesn’t automatically create capacity. Sometimes it simply shines a light on doubts that were already there.

So they perhaps choose comfort over growth. Not because their heart wasn’t involved, but because it was, and loving you felt like standing at the edge of something more than they felt equipped to carry at the time. 

Sometimes it’s not about who they want. It’s about who they feel capable of being.

For those navigating heartbreak: You have always been enough at every stage of your life. Not being chosen was never about you personally.

Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk, founder of @theindustrytea_

The image above was generated by A.I. Any resemblance of the male to real persons, living or dead, 

is purely coincidental and not intended to depict any specific individual.

GOD > LUCK

Growing up, luck felt real....

You might find money on the ground while playing outside. A parent might unexpectedly say “yes” when you were sure the answer would be “no.” A mock exam you’d been warned about might suddenly be cancelled, buying you more time. Moments like that made it easy to ask, “How lucky am I?”

But with age, wisdom, and experience, something shifts. You begin to see that luck, as we often define it, isn’t really what’s at work. More often than not, outcomes are shaped by effort, persistence, and showing up wholeheartedly. Even without perfect planning or preparation, when you give your best, something good - sometimes something great - tends to follow.

In my opinion, faith, hope, and prayer, paired with consistency and diligence, are what lead us toward the wins we long for. Luck is often just perception. God is the foundation beneath it all. No one can prove God’s existence outright, yet nearly everything around us quietly points toward Him.

God is a friend. God is reassurance. God is deliverance. God is strength. God is power. Luck lives in the mind; God is felt in the soul. One of my favorite bible verses, Matthew 19:26, reminds us: “With God all things are possible.”

Whatever season you’re in - whether full of happiness or facing challenges - you can turn to God in prayer. Speak honestly. Share the help you need, the burdens you’re carrying, the gratitude you feel, and the joy you’re holding. God’s response may not come instantly, but it often unfolds in ways you recognise days, weeks, or even months later.

There’s nothing wrong with believing in luck; at its core, it’s still an expression of hope. But God offers something deeper: steady comfort, faithful presence, and a place to surrender what weighs you down.

Whether you consider yourself a Christian or not, take a moment to sit with God. Pray. Talk as you would to a trusted friend—openly, freely, without filters. Allow yourself to be honest and, in that quiet space, let God show you why luck can never compare.

Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk, founder of @theindustrytea_

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.