IF YOU KNEW I WAS ABOUT TO DIE...

How would you respond?

How would you treat me?

What would you say to me?

What would you ask me?

Is there anything you’d want to know?

Anything you’d feel the need to confess?

How would you truly feel if you knew our time together was limited?

How would it feel to know that, one day, we might never get another chance to reconnect?

What would be your first reaction or thought?

What would you want to do with me?

Is there something you’d hope to receive from me?

Is there something you’d want me to do for you?

Let me be clear—I’m not dying, not that I am aware of. But I’ve been in a really reflective mood lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would say to someone I care about, if I knew it was my last chance to talk with them. Why can’t I have that conversation with them now—while they’re still alive? I can, and so I will, because, in the past I haven't and there has been some regret.

It’s odd, the way some of us behave when we hear about someone’s death. Whether it’s someone we know/knew, or a celebrity we have never met—we can be so quick to go online to reshare the persons content for the first time, post pictures and share fond memories, write captions filled with 'love', 'respect', and 'admiration'... yet how often did we give that attention while the person was alive?

Do we really care?

Are we truly concerned?

Is the “I love you” ever genuine?

Oh wait... a lot of us are too busy when people are alive, aren’t we? Too busy chasing money, too busy chasing status, too busy chasing likes, too busy staying in relationships that aren’t 'the one' for us, too busy chasing popularity, too busy trying to keep up appearances, too busy trying to stay young/youthful, too busy with work, too busy wasting time on the wrong ones; too busy being busy with a lot of stuff that will never matter once we ourselves are gone. 

But somehow, when they are dead, we find the time to post on social media, to attend the funeral, to express sorrow about the person and profess just how much we adored them. Doing the most 'in their name' when they can no longer see, hear or receive anything from us.

Why do so many people only show up, and only care, when it’s too late?

We should be giving “flowers” while people are still here, while we still have time. We know this! Life is unpredictable, any of us can/will die at any moment! There is no guarantee of tomorrow or that you or your loves will be here next week, next month or next year. 

Death is but a heartbeat away.

I’ve learned (with a brutal lesson) that waiting for the “right” time, waiting for the "perfect" moment, waiting until we have everything figured out— a job, an achievement, an olive branch from the other person, etc., etc., is NOT it! Nobody can afford to wait. NOBODY. It’s now or possibly never. And for me, never is not an option! 

Even if you don't believe you'll be heard, or you think the person does not want to hear from you, this is the one time I encourage you to be selfish albeit kind with your approach. Reaach out via whichever avenue you can and speak from a place of truth and release - let them know how you honestly feel about them, give them reasons (not justifications) for any hurt you may have caused, ask for the answers you've always shied away from pursuing and cover everything with the aim of leaving lighter and with peace in your heart.

With that said, I invite you (if you know, or have known, me personally) to, in-person or via message, say what you have always wanted to say to me but have previously chosen not to, with the understanding that this might be your last chance to do so.

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Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk

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CAN WE FIX THIS?

Living in this era feels surreal...

We have more ways to connect, yet we’ve never been more disconnected.

More tools to support one another, yet countless people still lack real, meaningful support.

More platforms to express ourselves, yet silence is often the default.

More children living in poverty, while millionaires are being made by the day.

More avenues for authentic love, yet much of it feels like a performance.

More jobs and opportunities, yet pursuing them can come at the cost of our mental well-being.

More people are single, yet, it seems, few are truly ready for loyal, lasting commitment.

More authorities than ever, yet safety feels scarce, justice elusive, and the systems meant to protect us are riddled with deep flaws.

Are we living in a dystopian world? Is this a preview of what's in store for children born today?

Some might say, “You’re being dramatic, Charley!” But others will understand that I’m not only someone who feels deeply — the things I’ve shared above are a reflection of reality.

The impact of what often feels like a world in constant pandemonium has shifted how I move through life. I spend more time at home than outside and, when I do socialise, I gravitate toward quieter, calmer spaces — crowded environments feel overwhelming.

I’ve become more guarded; more private about my life and choices. I no longer extend support as freely, especially to those who show no support for me. And I’ve stayed single — by choice — for years now, because I struggle to trust men in romantic contexts. Based on my experiences in recent years, there appears to be an epidemic of men in relationships who are constantly seeking something from women who aren’t the ones they’ve “committed” to. It’s so disheartening....

Maybe the apocalypse season made everything worse. Is that it? Is the apocalypse — COVID — to blame? Or had we already started down this path long before: becoming more selfish, self-absorbed, self-serving, fame-obsessed, money-driven, impatient, only 'supportive' of those we think we can gain something from, and increasingly void of empathy? Have we been morphing into these hyper-individualistic versions of ourselves for a while now?

This article is very much a stream-of-consciousness — an unfiltered, unedited spill of thoughts. I’ve laid them bare, just as they came, and I’ll leave it here.

Written by Charley - @charleyjaiuk

All details and information correct and up to date at the time of publishing.