Why anybody in their right mind, although maybe I've already hit the nail on the head there, would walk past a stranger, with the assumption they're upset just because they are not smiling, and say, "cheer up, it can't be that bad!?" is beyond me!
The amount of times I have wanted to crack the jaw of somebody who shouted that line at me as they crossed my path! I mean, I wouldn't actually do such a thing, as a smart and fairly reasonable adult, [well, I'd like to think I wouldn't] but, honestly, it pisses me off when this happens. In my opinion, it is such an ignorant thing to do!
Unfortunately, for me, like many others in the world, mine is a face that auto-drops into the most sour look when not grinning from ear to ear, which tends to be when I am focused, in thought [not necessarily deep], when listening to music and really taking in the lyrics, beat, melody, harmonies, key changes and the rest, or when, YES, it really is that bad.
When my favourite uncle passed away [I was so beyond devastated] I didn't know how best to articulate how I felt to myself let alone anybody else and so, I lived with the wretched emotional turmoil and tried to cope with his passing on my own. Likewise, when my grandpa died I was an absolute mess! Not a day goes by when I don't feel the pain of his absence throughout my entire body, real talk. My uncle was very much a father figure to me, but, my grand-boy [my nickname for him because, he was so youthful, vibrant, funny and playful] actively took on the role of the father I didn't have and my love for him is on a level I cannot ever number or name. The man was everything. He truly was!! I miss him so much more than I know how to put into words and I don't think there is anything I wouldn't give to have just one more day with him. Generally speaking, I am not good when it comes to accepting this type of loss.
Aside from as a person's downcast appearance possibly being a result of them grieving, there are many other reasons why somebody might carry, what looks like, an 'upset' demeanor...
- A break up
- Job termination
- Fall out with a friend
- Unsatisfactory environment
- Failing health, or a disability
- Financial worries, or major money challenges
- Etc., Etc., Etc., Etc., Etc., Etc., Etc., Etceteraaaaa!
None of us can ever know, for sure, why somebody may, or may not 'look' however they do when we see them. But, instead of throwing a thoughtless "cheer up, it can't be that bad" at them over your shoulder as you hurriedly walk past, why not offer a smile, or simply keep it moving!? Also, try to remember two important facts - (1) none of us are perfect and (2) we all know what it's like to be on the receiving end of an assumption so, hold yours in your chest. Do not let it rise into your throat and out of your mouth to tell that stranger you can see walking towards you with what looks like a miserable face, "cheer up, it can't be that bad". Chances are, they were fine until you came along with your assumption!
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