BROKEN BUT, HEALING

2018 has been a tad challenging for me, so far and I almost threw in the towel! Yes, I know, "We're only 3 months in, Charley, chill...!" Honestly, though, it really has been a bit of a dark time.

Regular employment [working for someone else], in my opinion, has become a farce. Over the years I've heard too many stories about people being made redundant, without warning, being told there is no money to fund their position, only for them to later discover somebody else has been hired to fulfil that very same role.

I have also had conversations with people who shared stories about being let go from their job because, "my Line Manager felt intimidated by my skills and expertise. He pushed me back instead of encouraging my growth and discouraged me from pursuing senior opportunities within the company. He had colleagues think ill of me and used bully tactics to have me second guess my capabilities. He then fabricated a case of 'unsatisfactory performance' against me and as a result, I was given the boot".

It's actually so disgusting that too many people in a position of power within their workplace have and continue to get away with such horrendous treatment of their fellow human-beings, especially considering the potential emotional, mental and financial implications. 

I use to find such accounts hard to believe until I went through a similar experience myself. Far from making the choice to retaliate, as some have told me they did, I looked for the lessons within my situation and then moved on. School tells you that you must study to get good grades so you can get a job which pays you enough money to cover your bills [and the odd holiday if you learn how to plan ahead and save], but, in addition to that, what every educational institute should tell / teach you [and also give you the skills and knowledge to accomplish] is how to Be Your Own Boss; work for yourself in whichever field you choose. Not to earn money to fund the cost of living; to essentially just exist, but, to have a rewarding and happy life!

I was better off when freelancing so, I don't know why I made the move back into regular employment. In fact, I do know, I became impatient [lack of support and recognition, the snail pace climbs and basic earnings] which is ridiculous because, I'm smart enough to know better than to expect anything worth having to happen overnight, choopse! I'm all about the freelancer world and if you're currently struggling at your place of work and dealing with opposition, members of staff who degrade you, lie about you, unnecessarily challenge you, speak ill of people, are quite shallow and negative, have you feel inferior, cause you upset, etc., I urge you to think about the value in all of that and then consider what you're actually passionate about; what you truly enjoy doing, your skill set, the services you can provide based on your skills and the type of business you could perhaps launch yourself. 

Do some research into what it would take to kick start your own venture and then decide [seriously] whether you feel capable and confident enough to take the right steps towards freeing yourself from the clutches of what is making you unhappy [just to make ends meet] to instead do what will have you feel joy in your heart more often than not. If you don't feel that you have what it takes, find out how you can change that, real talk! That's definitely a risk worth taking, in my opinion. It doesn't matter if certain avenue's don't work out. There are so many other paths you can try :)

The struggle will always be real, but, some struggles are worth so much more than others! For example, a recent stint in hospital and a subsequent 2 week recovery was incredibly difficult for me and my pain score was insanely high, however, I knew that if I remained positive and pushed through I'd be absolutely fine and also be able to then prepare my body for further healing. That battle has been a means to a promising next chapter. Staying in a tense, suffocating, rigid, depressing environment which has a crippling impact on my mental and emotional health? Not so much.

There will always be some people hoping that you quit, fact, but, what is it that you hope for yourself? You may be thinking, "I don't have the help I need to progress, so, I'm stuck". Have you tried asking; have you reached out to anyone? We all have people that can and will support us. We just have to reach out to know who those people are and, if there's one thing I want you to remember it's this: there is strength and great empowerment in letting people know you need support, help and guidance. As long as you're trying to help yourself, someone will support you. Your happiness and the desire to succeed should be your top priorities! x

Thanks for reading.
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Random Fact > I'm super hardworking but, I am not competitive. I like to believe there's a place for everyone.