Tuesday, 28 July 2015


“I wouldn’t fart on him”, “he’s good for nothing”, “he just doesn't get it”, “I wouldn’t pee on him if he were on fire!”. Just some of the phrases I’ve heard said by women in relation to men – usually their other half. Shocking? Not at all and that my readers is the very problem.

SOME women generalize men all the time! While there are men to whom those above phrases might be very well suited, I know of certain men who could easily be a poster-ad for all things good, wholesome and loyal because, guess what? No two men are the same despite so many of them having similar ill traits which, let us acknowledge, can be said of women too. Ladies, take a moment to imagine all men perceiving women as being stubborn, selfish, too fast, clingy, demanding, way too talkative and expressive, pushy and who think too much! Hmmm...

Following conversations had over the years with various ladies (of different backgrounds, age, sexuality etc), I have found that there are way too many females who seem to believe that guys are inferior in some way and always will be, owing {but not limited} to these things:
  1. Men do not experience child birth, or menstrual pain  
  2. Men are not subjected to perverse harassment on a daily basis
  3. Men do not juggle their career alongside their home life, social and family lives
Erm, wait a minute… What!? For the ladies who agree with the above, here’s what you need to recognise, process, understand and then roll with: First of all, FYI, men were not made to carry babies and go through child birth. I repeat, God did give any man a womb!!!! Secondly, where applicable, some men do indeed co-run their household whilst they work, or pursue a career and at the same time play a key role in raising children {in some cases they are not even the biological parent} and they too can experience unwanted attention in more than one form!!! From having a woman persistently eye-ball them {whether they are stood with another woman, or not}, uninvited contact and emotional, or physical abuse, men can also be on the receiving end of harassment. What world are some of you chicks living in?

I get it, to a degree, I really do… Many of us females, myself included, have been hurt terribly by men – lied to, cheated on, abused, taken for granted, mistreated and then some HOWEVER, why is the new man to pay for the ill ways of the last? At what point do you give Mr New a chance to show you who he is and all that he is about? What if Mr New is nothing like Mr Ex? What if Mr New is all of your dreams come true? What if Mr New is about to restore your faith in love? Find a way to get over your past and give Mr New a chance. Forget Mr Ex taking forward only what your relationship with him taught you which you can use to positively benefit your next!

I'm one who believes in having a fresh, clean state of mind when meeting somebody new. You should not tarnish someone you meet today with the brush made dutty by the one you met way back whenever! Like, really? Choopse!

Ladies, let’s be super real about this subject. If the tables were turned you’d most likely start to fume on some next level of vexation! You'd have the world of cusses to spout to your friends about him... “How dare he treat me like I’m his crazy ex? Talking at me instead of to me, you know! Dictating to me like I'm some dog he can order about... Telling me I’m worthless, disrespecting me in public, dissing me to his friends. Is this fool mad? Does he not know about me when I'm vex?!?”…. You would surely see all of his ill behaviour towards you as being wrong, unfair and not true of the person you believe yourself to be, regardless of whether or not his actions are as a result of having been done wrong by an ex. Men have feelings too but, most {it seems} have been raised to believe that it’s best to keep their emotions under wraps. These times, more often than not, both men and women want the same thing from one another. Freedom to be their complete self within a relationship!

All a woman wants is for her guy to {occasionally} wear his heart on his sleeve even if that is only when the two of them are alone. All a man wants is for his woman to {occasionally} leave him to his bravado; his macho act that society have raised him to believe is the way he needs to be in order to succeed in life. Both men and women just want to be understood but, that will remain a myth if we continue to assume and bark demands at one another instead of talk to AND HEAR each other!!

So, ladies, fart on men! Give Mr New a chance and stop being so damn picky with your list of 'must look like' and 'must be like'! Trust him unless he shows you that he cannot be trusted. Believe in him, have faith in him, work with him not against him and LISTEN to what he has to say in order to understand him instead of shutting him down so you can talk at him based on information he hasn't yet had the chance to give to you!!! Men, in a nutshell, just be more understanding, patient, chivalrous and supportive.
Us women share the same internal makeup however, we were raised differently; mostly taught to be a certain way based on our gender and the experiences of women before us, real talk! Think about it... I don’t agree with the pink vs. blue way in which the sexes are raised and I strongly disagree with every man or woman being held responsible for the bad actions of another, usually based on perceptions and stereotypical views as opposed to knowledge and understanding!
Again, no two men are the same. Plus, ladies, if you seem to “always get them gone wrong, no good type of dudes”, perhaps it’s time you reflect on yourself and check where you might be going wrong. It could be that you just need to work out a few of your own flaws before starting a new relationship. It isn't always a case of, "he just ain't ready for me!" Could be you're the one who needs to fix up! There are wonderful, amazing, intelligent, courageous, committed, organised, exciting, supportive, kind, nurturing, humble, worthwhile, charismatic, independent, family oriented, wholesome, strong, honest, trustworthy men out there who are:
Great fathers
Good role models
Hard workers
Positively influential
Brilliant boyfriends and husbands
Wonderful brothers, cousins, nephews
Amazing sons

SHOUT OUT to: my late grandpa, my late uncle Fabian, my late 'brother' Joe, my little brother Ashley J, my best and super amazing friend Tyrone Hylton, my close friend Jason York and our Lord Jesus Christ! These formidable men, in one way or another, are all of the above list and much more!!

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of YOU be like-minded, showing fellow feeling, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate, humble in mind, not paying back injury for injury but, to the contrary, bestowing a blessing...

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post! x

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Images taken from Google, 2 edited by C Jai


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